Guild icon
Reverse Tarot
To Archive / yosuke-hanamura_2
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/13/2020 4:43 AM
Hello, Yosuke-kun. I know this is.. Very sudden . I just... I wanted to ask about those nightmares.
4:45 AM
I didn't want to say this in the main chat, as to not worry anybody. But. Truth be told I've been experiencing similar dreams ever since discovering the chatroom. šŸ˜•
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/13/2020 4:47 AM
Oh... Really? I had another last night so they're still pretty fresh in my mind... I mean... What are yours like, if it's ok to ask?
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/13/2020 4:48 AM
There's this indescribable pain. A burning sensation. And.. an overwhelming sense of loneliness..
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/13/2020 4:48 AM
... yeah... Yeah, the loneliness is...
4:49 AM
I mean, even when I'm close to my partner, I still wake up feeling... Like I've been alone for HOURS, someplace I can't reach anyone else, you know...?
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/13/2020 4:49 AM
I live alone anyway. But.. It's terrifying.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/13/2020 4:51 AM
Yeah. I dunno how to describe it... It's like... It's like being trapped in your own body, but losing control? Like those stories you hear of people going under anesthesia, but they're awake the whole time... I just feel like I'm just... On the inside looking out... And I can't DO anything...
4:52 AM
It's so... Distinct...
4:52 AM
Sorry, I don't need to go off, but... The fact that you're having them too...
4:52 AM
I wonder why.
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/13/2020 4:53 AM
... Truth be told. Sometimes everything becomes so overwhelming I.. begin to give in to these feelings. And find comfort in it. Is that odd..?
4:55 AM
..it probably sounds weird.
4:58 AM
It's. All so scary. Aha. šŸ˜… šŸ˜°
5:00 AM
These dreams feel so different to any other night terrors I've had.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/13/2020 5:04 AM
I... I gotcha... I guess... It's sometimes easier to... Give up than fight back. But I hope that if it were not a dream, you would fight back, Naru-san!
5:04 AM
But... They are really... Realistic...
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/13/2020 5:05 AM
It's so vivid...
5:06 AM
I'd.. do my best to fight back if this were real.
5:07 AM
I've never been the best at remembering my dreams. So. It's.. really strange that these feel like.. they actually happened. You know?
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/13/2020 5:13 AM
Yeah... Naru-san... You've mentioned the country a few times. Have you ever been someplace called Inaba?
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/13/2020 5:14 AM
Yasoinaba?
5:15 AM
Once or twice. Why?
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/13/2020 5:15 AM
Yeah! Well... I was wondering... If maybe that was your connection to the group...
5:15 AM
A lot of things related to the shadow world happened THERE. Including the murders that Adachi committed...
5:16 AM
And... The whole dream thing... Reminds me of something that happened there.
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/13/2020 5:17 AM
I think I went before the serial murders took place... some time In 2010.
5:17 AM
I heard about the case on the news years later, as you do.
5:20 AM
... Do you mind telling me more about what happened? That 'something'. I mean.
5:20 AM
I just. Want to understand.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/13/2020 5:22 AM
Oh... Just...
5:23 AM
It was at night, and... Well, something happened that made the sky turn blood red, and the moon... There was a giant tower where the school was... Does... Any of that sound even remotely familiar?
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/13/2020 5:23 AM
Not at all. ^^"
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/13/2020 5:24 AM
Then it's probably not related...
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/13/2020 5:24 AM
That sounds like... an experience. Aha.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/13/2020 5:24 AM
But it happened in... 2012, anyway.
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/13/2020 5:24 AM
Something straight out of a horror movie.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/13/2020 5:25 AM
It was... Well, yeah, it was intense. I was with Yu and everyone else, so it wasn't too bad, but I guess it affected me more than I thought? Or... I thought the dreams were related. I guess not, though, if you're having the same ones...
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/13/2020 5:27 AM
Are any of those things appearing in your dreams, Yosuke-kun?
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/13/2020 5:29 AM
Just the... Burning alive part... I thought maybe those eyes were but...
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/13/2020 5:29 AM
...Those eyes?
5:29 AM
That's
5:29 AM
Ominous.
5:30 AM
What did they look like?
5:33 AM
.. Were they this.. Piercing gold..?
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/13/2020 5:39 AM
Yeah! Yeah, they were...
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/13/2020 5:44 AM
They were also.. I. Don't know how to describe it,??
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/13/2020 5:47 AM
They were familiar to me... But I dunno how you could have seen them?
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/13/2020 5:48 AM
They weren't familiar.
5:49 AM
They were just. Inhuman. ..
5:50 AM
Those pupils...
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/13/2020 5:51 AM
Yeah... I know where they're from, but... I guess it's just weird that you'd dream of them too...
5:51 AM
I wonder what it all means? (edited)
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/13/2020 5:52 AM
... I. Don't know. I'm. Very afraid of this.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/13/2020 5:53 AM
Yeah... Well... If any of the details change, let me know, ok? We'll try and figure it out. You're not alone in this... Alright?
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/13/2020 5:54 AM
Thank you. (edited)
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/13/2020 5:54 AM
Yeah, of course...
5:55 AM
Anything to do with this world is really dangerous, so the last thing I want is a civilian to be wrapped up in it.
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/13/2020 6:01 AM
It definitely sounds dangerous.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/13/2020 6:02 AM
Yeah... It just... You seem like a nice person, Naru-san. I don't really want you to get wound up in all this. (edited)
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/13/2020 6:03 AM
So... This God. That you talked about. You thought your dreams were related to it?
6:07 AM
...should we be worried if they are?
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/13/2020 6:17 AM
... I mean... Yeah... That means the God is not dead, if that's the case...
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/13/2020 6:21 AM
Not dead? If gods are real, they can die..?
6:21 AM
I thought the definition of... Being a god was.. that they're immortal?
6:22 AM
I'm so confused
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/13/2020 6:23 AM
It's... complicated. They're pretty much immortal, but can be "defeated" with enough human spirit, I guess... But as long as what brought them around in the first place exists, they'll come back? So I guess... what brought Kagutsuchi around was... I can't remember, but it was like anger or something? Jealousy? I dunno... It was such a long time ago.
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/13/2020 6:24 AM
That's.. worrying.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/13/2020 6:27 AM
Yeah... But like, "gods" are born from collective emotions from... people? It's all complicated. It's like the other world is some crazy reflection of mankind-- it's manifestation of humanity into monster form. It's crazy.
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/13/2020 6:29 AM
I.. that sounds. Really scary!
6:29 AM
I'm downplaying my emotions here.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/13/2020 6:30 AM
LOL, I'm sure emotions don't come across through text real well anyway But yeah... it's... a lot. It's a lot to take in. I don't blame you for being scared
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/13/2020 6:44 AM
Being scared of the unknown is just.. something I can't shake.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/13/2020 6:45 AM
Well, of course... I mean, it's only less scary to me because I've experienced it...
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/13/2020 6:47 AM
Do you get used to it?
6:49 AM
This.. supernatural stuff. I mean.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/13/2020 6:52 AM
Not... Particularly. I mean, it gets easier, and even a little exciting, but then if you let down your guard... Well... Let's just say you can't get careless.
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/13/2020 6:53 AM
Right.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/13/2020 6:53 AM
It's not... Right for people to be swept up into it against their will. I don't want you to be forced into any it.
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/13/2020 6:55 AM
I. Admit if I had a choice I never would have gotten involved.
6:55 AM
But .. these dreams. And the chatroom.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/13/2020 6:55 AM
I know... It's not your fault...
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/14/2020 2:23 AM
It's so overwhelming...
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/14/2020 2:31 AM
...Have they been getting progressively worse for you, as well? The dreams. I mean.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/14/2020 3:28 AM
Yeah... I guess. Just feeling like it's harder to wake up, each time.
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/14/2020 3:46 AM
It's usually so easy to wake up from nightmares.
3:46 AM
Why are these different?
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/14/2020 3:47 AM
I wouldn't say it's... Super easy, but... These ones do feel hard to... Escape from.
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/14/2020 4:30 AM
Hm?
4:31 AM
I normally just get super spooked....
4:31 AM
And wake up.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/14/2020 4:31 AM
Oh, I guess my nightmares tend to be pretty intense lol
4:31 AM
But I usually struggle to wake up
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/14/2020 4:33 AM
šŸ¤”
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/14/2020 4:33 AM
Hard to explain if you haven't gone through, it, I guess...
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/14/2020 4:34 AM
I guess it might be. Yeah.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/14/2020 4:35 AM
Sorry;;; I don't want to just talk about me... You said they were getting progressively worse... so you say they're hard to wake up from? Have you been getting any restful sleep at all?
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/14/2020 4:38 AM
With each one I feel like I'm sinking deeper into...
4:39 AM
This..
4:39 AM
I don't know how to explain it.
4:39 AM
The pain gets worse
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/14/2020 4:39 AM
Pain... you can feel it?
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/14/2020 4:39 AM
Yeah. It's.. ridiculous.
4:39 AM
I wake up and it fades quickly. But.
4:40 AM
It was there.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/14/2020 4:40 AM
It does hurt really bad...
4:40 AM
It's really... eerie... how similar the experience is, you know?
4:40 AM
I mean, I guess it makes us feel less alone.
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/14/2020 4:41 AM
Does it ever make you struggle to breathe?
4:41 AM
That's... a common one.
4:41 AM
In my dreams anyway...
4:42 AM
I can't tell if it's the smoke or. Something else
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/14/2020 4:42 AM
Yeah. I think it is the smoke.
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/14/2020 4:44 AM
I don't cough in the dream though? With how realistic it is.. I'd expect that.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/14/2020 4:45 AM
But there is gasping... like, trying to breathe... maybe that's how it is realistically?
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/14/2020 4:47 AM
Maybe? I've never been.. burnt alive.
4:47 AM
šŸ˜…
4:50 AM
I wouldn't know.
4:51 AM
... Promise you wont freak out about what I'll say next..?
4:51 AM
It's scary to me. So.
4:52 AM
I just .. want to make sure.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/14/2020 4:52 AM
Well, I mean...
4:52 AM
Might as well say it.
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/14/2020 4:52 AM
I um. I swear I've also been.. hearing and seeing things. In these dreams.
4:53 AM
It's.. seriously eerie.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/14/2020 4:53 AM
... what kinda things?
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/14/2020 4:55 AM
It's really distant. But I swear there are other people there.
4:56 AM
But I can't reach them. And they can't reach me.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/14/2020 4:56 AM
I think you're right... So there are other people dreaming of this...
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/14/2020 4:57 AM
... hm.
4:58 AM
I want to know more. But I don't want to get involved.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/14/2020 4:58 AM
I gotcha... I can ask around and see what's going on, if that's cool. I won't drop your name, though. For your privacy. Ok?
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/14/2020 4:59 AM
Right.
5:00 AM
Thank you.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/14/2020 5:00 AM
Sure! I just... yeah, I wanna get to the bottom of this.
5:00 AM
And I want to stop it, if I can.
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/14/2020 5:09 AM
How would you stop this? šŸ˜°
5:09 AM
Try not to put yourself at risk beyond reason...
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/14/2020 5:09 AM
I mean... I'm pretty good at that lol I dunno... I guess I'd have to find the source. See if there is one.
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/14/2020 5:10 AM
šŸ˜• šŸ˜Ÿ
5:10 AM
Just be careful.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/14/2020 5:11 AM
I will, I will, I promise. Thanks for worrying about me though... it's appreciated. Just be sure to take care of yourself too. Let me know if you notice anything weird.
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/14/2020 5:13 AM
Anything weird in particular?
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/14/2020 5:13 AM
Well, telling me more details about the dreams is good. I know it's uncomfortable for you, but it helps bring in more perspective about it all.
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/14/2020 5:14 AM
...Yeah.
5:14 AM
Okay. I can do that.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/14/2020 5:17 AM
Sounds good!
5:17 AM
And if anything seems unusual in person, of course. Like if you feel watched, or anything.
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/14/2020 5:38 AM
^^" feeling. like I'm being watched?
5:38 AM
Is that. A thing that happens with all otherworldly stuff??
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/14/2020 5:38 AM
I mean... it could?
5:39 AM
I dunno, we just want to keep everyone safe, right?
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/14/2020 5:39 AM
Yeah.
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/14/2020 5:51 AM
The name's Watanabe, by the way. Please don't share that in the main chat - though. šŸ¤­
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/14/2020 5:51 AM
Watanabe? It's nice to meet you, heh-- but I'll keep calling you Naru-san, so that I don't slip up, ok?
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/14/2020 5:52 AM
That would be nice. šŸ™‚
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/14/2020 5:52 AM
And you know my name of course lol Thanks for telling me tho-- I'm glad you trust me
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/14/2020 5:53 AM
We're in this together, yes?
5:53 AM
So . I figured I'd be a little more open.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/14/2020 5:55 AM
Yeah! And it's nice to know that you're a person underneath it all too, heh...
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/14/2020 5:56 AM
ā˜ŗļø
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/14/2020 6:09 AM
Yosuke-kun?
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/14/2020 6:11 AM
Yeah Naru-san?
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/14/2020 6:12 AM
Could you please be more careful with your information, too..?
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/14/2020 6:14 AM
Well... yeah. I'm gonna make an effort from now on, I promise.
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/14/2020 6:34 AM
Good. šŸ™
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/20/2020 1:30 AM
Are you alright, Yosuke-kun?
1:33 AM
Please... calm down. It isn't worth getting worked up over. I know you're concerned for her safety, but getting frustrated won't make her listen any more.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/20/2020 1:39 AM
Sorry you had to see that
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/20/2020 1:39 AM
Don't be. I get why you feel this way.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/20/2020 1:39 AM
It's fine
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/20/2020 1:41 AM
It's not. You're clearly very upset about this.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/20/2020 1:41 AM
I know I screwed up But I didn't think I was... unreasonable
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/20/2020 1:43 AM
It wasn't unreasonable.
1:44 AM
But even then, getting mad at her is not the way to solve this.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/20/2020 1:44 AM
It's impossible not to
1:44 AM
You tell someone not to do something a thousand times and they do it anyway
1:44 AM
It's impossible to not get mad
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/20/2020 1:45 AM
I know the feeling, trust me. ^^"
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/20/2020 1:45 AM
Disd she djust
1:45 AM
I'm gonna have a stroke
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/20/2020 1:46 AM
She did.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/20/2020 1:46 AM
I'm gonna never look at that chat ever again
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/20/2020 1:48 AM
It... might be a good idea to take a break from there for a while.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/20/2020 1:48 AM
Right... yeah
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/20/2020 1:49 AM
Do whatever makes you feel comfortable.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/20/2020 1:49 AM
I will Thanks Naru
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/20/2020 1:50 AM
Miku-chan wants to talk to you, by the way... I thought I'd let you know. šŸ˜„
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/20/2020 1:51 AM
I'll... hit her up later
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/20/2020 2:21 AM
Alright then. Take care of yourself.
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/24/2020 5:36 AM
Yosuke-kun... Are you well? I just wanted to check up on you.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/24/2020 12:25 PM
o yah lmao im about to head out but thanks for checking on me :)
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/24/2020 12:33 PM
No problem. I just... Wanted to make sure.
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/25/2020 10:08 PM
Bringing this up in private, but you may want to private your myplace.. I should have mentioned that when I saw it a while ago.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/25/2020 10:08 PM
oh shit, not again
10:08 PM
i actually forgot the password... i havent accessed it since high school, ya know?
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/25/2020 10:09 PM
Oh no. šŸ˜¬
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/25/2020 10:11 PM
i guess i have to live with my mistakes lol...
10:11 PM
but... thats why im telling everyone else to not... give our their first and last name lmao
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/25/2020 10:12 PM
Please stay safe, Yosuke-kun. šŸ˜Ÿ
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/25/2020 10:12 PM
thanks naru-san, but im fine so far
10:12 PM
im more worried about everyone else tbh
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/25/2020 10:18 PM
I'll admit. I'm just.. growing increasingly worried in general. Those dreams just keep getting worse. ^^' (edited)
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/25/2020 10:21 PM
i... i know
10:21 PM
i try not to think about them tho
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/25/2020 10:23 PM
How do you ignore them?
10:26 PM
... I swear things from my dreams are just following me in to my day to day life. I have this constant.. awful headache.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/25/2020 10:30 PM
... i guess i just feel like that in general lately. i have a lot on my mind
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/25/2020 10:31 PM
That's.. completely fair.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/25/2020 10:32 PM
sorry, i dont mean to dismiss your feelings...
10:32 PM
i didnt even think that was related to the dreams tho... i thought i was just feeling crappy lmao
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/25/2020 10:36 PM
I. Didn't think so... Either. At first. But then something really weird happened. (edited)
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/25/2020 10:45 PM
what happened...?
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/25/2020 10:46 PM
I swear I saw something.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/25/2020 10:46 PM
... what did you see?
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/25/2020 10:46 PM
I'm.. not sure???
10:46 PM
It was too distorted for me to see. And. Was gone before I could get a decent look at it. Or... maybe the space around me.. just became distorted? I can't really remember.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/25/2020 10:47 PM
naru, you gotta be really careful from now on, ok?
10:48 PM
next time the space around you becomes distorted like that, try to get as far away as quickly as possible, ok?
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/25/2020 10:48 PM
...Right.
10:48 PM
Okay.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/25/2020 10:50 PM
sorry, i dont mean to scare you, just... gotta stay safe, right?
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/25/2020 10:51 PM
Yeah.
10:56 PM
I hate the implication there'll be a next time. šŸ˜…
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 9/25/2020 10:59 PM
I know... but it's better to be safe than sorry.
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 9/25/2020 11:03 PM
I guess so.
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 10/4/2020 3:08 PM
Hey.
3:09 PM
.. .. so um. My dreams start off painful. And.. are painful! For a while. But then.. something happens.. and.. it slowly starts numbing.
3:09 PM
The pain is still there. It's.. just like I'm ignorant to it. I don't.. I don't know. It's kind of scary
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 10/4/2020 3:10 PM
thats weird, but it does sound scary. maybe youve technically "died" in the dream and its emulating that? my dreams get more painful the longer i sleep... like some kinda inconvenience thing to keep me exhausted all the time
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 10/4/2020 3:11 PM
That's terrifying. šŸ˜°
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 10/4/2020 3:12 PM
yeah, i guess... its more painful than anything
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 10/4/2020 3:12 PM
I guess so??
3:13 PM
It's.. just.. so weird that these dreams are doing this. They're just dreams. Right?
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 10/4/2020 3:13 PM
i dont think so
3:14 PM
theyre malicious. were both experiencing the feeling of being watched, were both experiencing pain. the effects are increasing over time
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 10/4/2020 3:14 PM
...šŸ˜°
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 10/4/2020 3:15 PM
i think for now you can afford yourself to rest longer, even if its scary and i need to try and fight through the pain
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 10/4/2020 3:17 PM
. Is . Is this related to that 'other world' stuff?
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 10/4/2020 3:17 PM
... i think so. it would make sense
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 10/4/2020 3:18 PM
I..
3:18 PM
Um.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 10/4/2020 3:18 PM
whats up?
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 10/4/2020 3:20 PM
This is dangerous, then.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 10/4/2020 3:20 PM
... yeah.
3:21 PM
i guess ill have to talk to someone about it.
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 10/4/2020 3:21 PM
šŸ˜°
3:21 PM
I. Um.
3:22 PM
You got any idea what's causing this?
3:22 PM
At all?
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 10/4/2020 3:23 PM
no? i mean, i have a few guesses, but... nothing specific
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 10/4/2020 3:24 PM
Right.
3:25 PM
So. This won't.. this won't end anytime soon.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 10/4/2020 3:25 PM
i dunno.
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 10/4/2020 3:25 PM
Right.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 10/4/2020 3:26 PM
im gonna talk to some people and try and figure it out tho, ok? I promise
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 10/4/2020 3:26 PM
Thank you.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 10/4/2020 3:27 PM
Yeah, no prob
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 10/4/2020 3:27 PM
I just. Want this to be over.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 10/4/2020 3:27 PM
I know.... Me too
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 10/8/2020 4:29 PM
Hey! I hope the kid wasn't too upset..?
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 10/8/2020 4:31 PM
oh yeah, ill.... tell the story in a sec
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 10/8/2020 4:32 PM
I just wanted to see how you are in general.
4:32 PM
You holding up okay?
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 10/8/2020 4:32 PM
Yeah, I'm fine... I'm still tired a lot, but I'm holding up ok.
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 10/8/2020 4:33 PM
...Your nights are getting worse too, huh?
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 10/8/2020 4:37 PM
Not particularly... but... it feels like... Feels like someone is trying to guide me somewhere?
4:37 PM
I can't understand the words too well, but it feels like someone is trying to tell me there's relief if I just
4:37 PM
follow them
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 10/8/2020 4:38 PM
That's. Not ominous at all.
4:39 PM
...I'd be lying if I said I haven't heard a voice in my dreams. Though.
4:39 PM
Cant.. really make out what it sounds like.
4:39 PM
Or what it's saying.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 10/8/2020 4:39 PM
I got this weird feeling...
4:40 PM
That maybe the dreams are... prophetic?
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 10/8/2020 4:40 PM
Prophetic??? How so? (edited)
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 10/8/2020 4:42 PM
Like maybe I'm heading towards something... bad? But someone is offering me an out now
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 10/8/2020 4:43 PM
I.. I guess that makes sense?
4:44 PM
I don't know if I could quite... trust that...though.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 10/8/2020 4:45 PM
Yeah... I guess...
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 10/8/2020 4:45 PM
I've also been hallucinating more lately. I'll be honest. It's.. not fun.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 10/8/2020 4:46 PM
What kinda hallucinations?
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 10/8/2020 4:51 PM
The weird. Distortions and stuff..
4:52 PM
In public places. Where clearly everyone would see them.. but nobody says anything or reacts. So. I guess it's a me thing.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 10/8/2020 4:53 PM
Have you been staying away from them?
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 10/8/2020 4:53 PM
Yeah..I have.
4:58 PM
It's... weird.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 10/8/2020 5:00 PM
Do they seem to be following you, maybe...? Maybe we should get Naoya to dispatch people to help you out...
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 10/8/2020 5:01 PM
I .. I guess we should. Yeah.
5:02 PM
I'd appreciate it.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 10/8/2020 5:05 PM
Yeah! I'll hit him up about it
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 10/8/2020 5:07 PM
I'll talk later. Thank you.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 10/8/2020 5:09 PM
Oh, yeah-- take care of yourself, Watanabe (edited)
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 10/26/2020 4:52 AM
Are you sure you're alright?
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 10/26/2020 4:54 AM
yeah, just... im just tired, like i said. ive been sleeping in my own bed lately and stuff lol you dont need to worry about me tho
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 10/26/2020 4:56 AM
šŸ˜°
4:56 AM
That's exactly what someone who isn't okay would say.
4:56 AM
I'd know. ^^'
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 10/26/2020 4:58 AM
yeah i guess theres not a lot i can talk about tho lol, im sorry its not that i dont trust you, i just dont wanna worry you and i dunno if youd even understand it all
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 10/26/2020 4:59 AM
... Okay.
5:00 AM
Just... Stay safe.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 10/26/2020 5:00 AM
thanks, i appreciate it... im here if you need anything, ok?
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 10/26/2020 5:00 AM
The same goes for you.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 10/26/2020 5:00 AM
yeah ofc!
Avatar
Hey, I know you think I'm trying to just start trouble... but I was thinking as long as he's texting he might not do a lot of walking, yeah? Be distracted... Basically I was trying to keep him occupied to make it easier for miss Haru to get to him.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/2/2020 8:05 PM
Oh, I see... Just... I'm pretty sure it's his shadow, though. I don't want to aggravate him further and make Haru's confrontation worse...
Avatar
That's fair but it would be bad if he started moving around too much. Without something keeping him engaged who's to say he wont hide himself?
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/2/2020 8:09 PM
Maybe we can just get him talking about stupid stuff, but not really to the point where it makes him worse (edited)
Avatar
Yeah. Hobbies and things. Right now i guess we're on guns? Just kinda go with the flow.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/2/2020 8:11 PM
Airtight... As long as he doesn't get more aggravated
Avatar
Mmhm. If he does just try to change the subject or respond calmly.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/2/2020 8:13 PM
Got it
šŸ‘ 1
Avatar
Try not to be too pushy with the questions. It may start to come off as unnatural. Youre doing a pretty gj though.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/2/2020 8:29 PM
Ah, sorry. I'm trying...
Avatar
Its okay, like i said youre doing pretty good. Just gotta remember not to try too hard? Talk to him like you would any of your other friends even if he's acting not so nice.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/2/2020 8:32 PM
I'm trying... Hard not to get mad
Avatar
Yeah, thats probably the toughest part. Just remember he isnt quite himself right now and he's trying to get a rise out of you, I'm sure.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/2/2020 8:33 PM
I know...
Avatar
Good, good. Sorry if i overdo it with the advice.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/2/2020 8:36 PM
You're fine. It's helping me feel level headed
Avatar
I'm glad. If talking in the bg helps feel free to keep texting me.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/2/2020 8:44 PM
I guess I'm just... Not sure what to say
Avatar
Words are difficult, its alright. At least more of Akira's other companions are showing up too, that may help. But in general tbh if you ever need help or advice or smthn feel free to come to me.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/2/2020 8:48 PM
Thanks, Senpai...
Avatar
No problem. I'm here for ya, Yosuke.
Avatar
Echo, tangent lore whisperer 11/3/2020 2:52 PM
Pardon my lateness, sleeping was. .. difficult last night. (edited)
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/3/2020 2:53 PM
I totally understand. You're allowed to sleep as much as you want after all that
Avatar
Echo, tangent lore whisperer 11/3/2020 2:54 PM
Still, I promised you answers and it's not like me to keep someone waiting.
2:54 PM
I'll answer to the best of my abilities.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/3/2020 3:00 PM
If you want to... I mean, it's not really my business, but... I do wanna know if he's ok, and... What happened
Avatar
Echo, tangent lore whisperer 11/3/2020 3:04 PM
He's alright.
3:04 PM
His arm is broken.
3:08 PM
He seems to have been. . .in some sort of out of body state.
3:09 PM
I should mention provoking him is not the best idea.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/3/2020 3:27 PM
Right, I figured... I talked with Oracle about it... There could be a lot of different things that happened, but... Is it possible he was... Taken control of?
Avatar
Echo, tangent lore whisperer 11/3/2020 3:28 PM
I doubt it. The things he said were too. . .personal.
3:28 PM
He's also not someone you can simply control.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/3/2020 3:31 PM
Maybe my shadow theory is correct... My shadow said a lot of things that only I knew about, but was... Pretty terrible, honestly. But then... How could his shadow still be a part of this body and not seperated? Sorry, I don't mean to theorize. You're probably tired.
Avatar
Echo, tangent lore whisperer 11/3/2020 3:33 PM
It's alright. I appreciate the perspective.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/3/2020 3:35 PM
I'm just trying to figure all this stuff out...
3:35 PM
But for now, few definitely needs rest. How are you? It sounds like you went through a bunch
Avatar
Echo, tangent lore whisperer 11/3/2020 3:36 PM
Fine. There's simply a lot to handle.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/3/2020 3:39 PM
You don't have to pretend to be fine if you aren't, but I get that you don't wanna talk about that stuff either. If you are just fine, I'm glad. We are just starting to get to know each other, I dunno what I'd do if something happened lol
Avatar
Echo, tangent lore whisperer 11/3/2020 3:54 PM
It's just been. A very long night.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/3/2020 3:55 PM
You should rest as much as you can... Do you need anything?
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/3/2020 4:06 PM
BTW, I wanted to confirm... If Goro is awake, how is he acting?
Avatar
Echo, tangent lore whisperer 11/3/2020 4:08 PM
He's still recovering. He. . hasn't said anything yet.
4:08 PM
He's probably tired.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/3/2020 4:09 PM
I gotcha. If you could keep me updated, that would help a lot.
4:10 PM
Oh and, umm... Was he... Able to use a Persona last night at all?
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 3/11/2021 12:54 PM
The trip to Inaba had been... Surprisingly fun. Despite his lack of sleep, Yosuke kept up with the others fairly well. It was also the first meeting with most of Akira's partners, save for Haru and Futaba. He and Ryuji clicked immediately like they were long lost friends. He and Futaba's bickering was far more playful in person, able to hear each other's tone more clearly. He got along well with Ann and Yusuke as well. Once he stopped talking bad about himself, which he was immediately chastised for, he and Haru had a long conversation about cooking (and how he still had a lot to learn). It was a fun, chaotic drive, with Makoto tailing behind on Yosuke's bright yellow bike. Yosuke missed out on getting to know her well, but talked with her about the bike at pit stops. After everyone crashed at the Amagi Inn, Yosuke made his way to Kanji's house. Their conversation was long and quiet, as though they were careful of stepping on glass. Then Kanji asked the question Yosuke knew he would: "Do you like him?" Yosuke's chest tightened uncomfortably. He ended up answering honestly, even if he didn't want to. This was met with a pat on the shoulder and a relieved, "good luck." Kanji was just happy Yosuke wasn't hiding it anymore. At least, around everyone else-- Kanji was the first to know, after all. -----
12:55 PM
After arriving back at the inn in the morning to greet the (sleeping) group, Yosuke visited with Yukiko and Chie over breakfast. He was interrupted when Akira asked him on a walk (in emojis, of course). Now, the two of them wandered down a dirt walking trail that leads to the overlook, talking as usual, but something felt... Hushed, between them. It was a painful feeling to not know where you stand with someone. Yosuke wanted to ask, and wasn't sure he wanted the answer. Was he looking too into everything? They were obviously dating, right? If those late night cuddles and sleepovers over movies were any indication... Making each other food and flirting back and forth like a dance where they refused to touch. It was... Confusing. Yosuke knew Akira liked him. He wasn't stupid-- even then, Futaba has dropped the ball on that. The real question was... What did Yosuke feel? He remembers his conversation with Kanji and feels heat in his cheeks. Thankfully, there was a bitter frost that covered everything, so the cold was already making him blush. "Akira." He stops in the middle of the path and waits for the other to turn to him, looking at his shoes instead of Akira's eyes. He had his arms crossed tightly, as though he were hugging himself. "... What are we?" (edited)
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 3/11/2021 1:06 PM
@corvidknight
Avatar
corvidknight 3/11/2021 1:45 PM
Having spent a good amount of time asleep so far, Akira was actually in a good mood. Good enough, in fact, that no amount of frost or chill was going to deter him from a walk. The first healthy one in a while, too, and Yosuke had agreed to come with him. It was nice. He hadn't been out here before, so the scenery was new to him. Almost breathtaking, in fact, and he found himself itching to explore, even as his companion stopped moving. But it didn't take him long to realize that his footsteps were the only sound, hands in his pockets as he turned to give a quizzical look to Yosuke. Somehow, the other's position looked small, almost... delicate. Like he was afraid of Akira's response to the question. Akira was mildly surprised to be asked, having simply been spending time with Yosuke to get to know him better. He'd come to terms with the thought of things never going anywhere. Yosuke wasn't gay, after all. "We're friends," came the gentle response, accompanied by a tilt of the head as Akira moved a little bit closer to Yosuke. Standing too far away may give off the wrong signal, but he'd keep his hands to himself. "I like spending time with you. Is something bothering you?"
Avatar
Avatar
corvidknight
Having spent a good amount of time asleep so far, Akira was actually in a good mood. Good enough, in fact, that no amount of frost or chill was going to deter him from a walk. The first healthy one in a while, too, and Yosuke had agreed to come with him. It was nice. He hadn't been out here before, so the scenery was new to him. Almost breathtaking, in fact, and he found himself itching to explore, even as his companion stopped moving. But it didn't take him long to realize that his footsteps were the only sound, hands in his pockets as he turned to give a quizzical look to Yosuke. Somehow, the other's position looked small, almost... delicate. Like he was afraid of Akira's response to the question. Akira was mildly surprised to be asked, having simply been spending time with Yosuke to get to know him better. He'd come to terms with the thought of things never going anywhere. Yosuke wasn't gay, after all. "We're friends," came the gentle response, accompanied by a tilt of the head as Akira moved a little bit closer to Yosuke. Standing too far away may give off the wrong signal, but he'd keep his hands to himself. "I like spending time with you. Is something bothering you?"
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 3/11/2021 2:05 PM
Yosuke's eyes flicker up to see Akira's expression-- he didn't seem.... annoyed, or angry... At the response, he let his tight shoulders fall with a huff, finally looking up into Akira's face. "Oh, come on," that came out more rude than he meant, so he quickly continued: "Friends don't-- friends don't do what we do." He glances aside, focusing his eyes on a rock nearby instead of the other. "What I mean is... I know you like me," he breathes, picking over his words. "You didn't exactly make that a secret. But I..." Yosuke looks up, slow, fixing his eyes on Akira's face. Seeing just how... handsome he was made Yosuke's heart start beating far faster. "Dammit, what I mean is--" Just spit it out, he mentally hissed. "What I mean is... I... I dunno what I feel about you." Dammit, he still couldn't say it. He might need more coaxing. Either way, he let that hang in the air, and his face was definitely redder.
Avatar
corvidknight 3/11/2021 2:08 PM
He stayed quiet while Yosuke struggled with the concept of using words to vocalize thoughts, mentally sipping a steaming hot cup of coffee. Maybe one he'd have when he got back from their walk? Hmm. "Well, I know how I feel about you. As you said, I don't exactly hide it." His tone was very matter-of-fact, an eyebrow quirking. "Friends can do whatever they want, if they don't want to be romantically involved." Akira paused then, trying to fight the smirk that was threatening to rear its head. He could keep playing coy! He could. But, given the state Yosuke was in... that might be a bit too mean. So, instead, he shifted his weight, rocking back on his heels for a moment. "That is, unless you want to be."
2:09 PM
@Kayla, male thot enemy of state
Avatar
Avatar
corvidknight
He stayed quiet while Yosuke struggled with the concept of using words to vocalize thoughts, mentally sipping a steaming hot cup of coffee. Maybe one he'd have when he got back from their walk? Hmm. "Well, I know how I feel about you. As you said, I don't exactly hide it." His tone was very matter-of-fact, an eyebrow quirking. "Friends can do whatever they want, if they don't want to be romantically involved." Akira paused then, trying to fight the smirk that was threatening to rear its head. He could keep playing coy! He could. But, given the state Yosuke was in... that might be a bit too mean. So, instead, he shifted his weight, rocking back on his heels for a moment. "That is, unless you want to be."
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 3/11/2021 2:30 PM
Yosuke's shoulders stiffened and his heart started to race like a scared rabbits at the suggestion. To have it said so bluntly made him so red his eyes watered. Why was he so embarrassed by the idea? He swallowed the tennis ball in his throat, then cleared it. "I... I dunno." That was about as honest as he could get. The next thing he said was so much that he had to close his eyes instead of avoid eye contact. "I just-- IthinkIlikeyou!" He said it so loud that a nearby flock fled from their tree. Good job, pancake... "... But..." He opens his eyes. There's a sudden pain on his face. He was hot from embarrassment and shame, and it was overwhelming. "But I'm... Awful." He barks out a laugh. "All I do is... Say shit that hurts you and... you'll probably find me annoying and get sick of me eventually. Not to mention, I'm the jealous type, how could I handle all of this...?" He laughs again, but it was forced, his voice watery. His eyes stayed glued to the ground between them so that Akira couldn't see him start to cry. "I mean, I thought you hated me at first. And-- and I'm just... If I annoyed you before, imagine how I will going forward? And your partners, too-- they'll probably start to hate me, too..." "I just... I dunno if I should keep... Playing with your feelings like this." (edited)
Avatar
corvidknight 3/11/2021 3:30 PM
A frown finally made an appearance on Akira's lips, shattering any illusion of a smirk rising to the surface. He couldn't help himself from reaching out, now, hands rising from the depths of his pockets to set themselves on Yosuke's upper arms, close to his shoulders. It was a promise, almost, the threat of an impending hug looming in the air if Yosuke kept it up. "You're not any of those things. You're not awful, and you're not playing with my feelings. You think everyone would have wanted to come if they didn't like you?" It was a serious question, gentle yet firm in tone, like he was trying to probe at and dismantle Yosuke's own self-doubt. "None of us hate you. People can get annoyed when there are problems with communication. It happens. I still have bumps here and there with my partners, but that's the thing." Akira leans in close, not trying to catch sight of Yosuke's face - instead, he's going for the ear, lowering his voice even more. "We talk it out so that we can understand each other. That's what love is."
3:30 PM
@Kayla, male thot enemy of state
Avatar
Avatar
corvidknight
A frown finally made an appearance on Akira's lips, shattering any illusion of a smirk rising to the surface. He couldn't help himself from reaching out, now, hands rising from the depths of his pockets to set themselves on Yosuke's upper arms, close to his shoulders. It was a promise, almost, the threat of an impending hug looming in the air if Yosuke kept it up. "You're not any of those things. You're not awful, and you're not playing with my feelings. You think everyone would have wanted to come if they didn't like you?" It was a serious question, gentle yet firm in tone, like he was trying to probe at and dismantle Yosuke's own self-doubt. "None of us hate you. People can get annoyed when there are problems with communication. It happens. I still have bumps here and there with my partners, but that's the thing." Akira leans in close, not trying to catch sight of Yosuke's face - instead, he's going for the ear, lowering his voice even more. "We talk it out so that we can understand each other. That's what love is."
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 3/11/2021 3:55 PM
TW; Homophobia mention. Yosuke bows his head even more, trying to hide his sudden onset of tears, but Akira can feel the shake of his arms as he tried not to audibly sob. For a moment, Yosuke seemed content to just cry. And then... Everything slammed into him at once. "Fuck love," he barks, throwing his hands down to get Akira to stop touching him. He just wanted all of this to stop. And then it leaves his mouth, like it always does: the built up, proverbial vomit that were his shitty feelings. "You think love fixes shit!? My parents just fucking abandoned me the second they found out I'm gay! My friends--" he shakes his head, then grips it. "My friends drop me like a hat the second I say something that disappoints them! I've never been able to keep a relationship! I can't even keep a decent job-- I was a manager at Junes for ten years for fucks sake! "Love can't-- it can't just make all of that shit go away! It won't make me any less of a disappointment to the people around me..." At the end, his voice teeters off into a squeak, and he has to cover his mouth as he full body sobs. He can't even keep his memories straight-- which part were the nightmares and which parts were reality? Did it really matter anymore...? For all he knew, this could be another damn nightmare. "I hate it-- I hate all of it! I hate feeling this way..." He had gasped this out between sobs, but he couldn't stop his crying. He felt... Heartbroken. Being in Inaba and unable to stay with his parents made him HURT. He felt distant from his friends, no matter how much they try to pull him in-- why? Why did he lose trust in them? Did the nightmares really convince him of all of that? "I-I'm sorry," he gasps out, sobbing heavily for a moment. "I can't-- I can't be dumping this on you..." (edited)
Avatar
corvidknight 3/11/2021 4:02 PM
Akira was this close to making good on that hug threat. And then things went exactly like his nightmares said they would. He took a step back, trying to keep a straight face as pain lanced through his heart. Of course he couldn't do this, of course not. Yosuke wasn't actually interested in him. He pressed his lips together in a thin line, trying not to speak. The lump in his throat wouldn't let him. This couldn't be a nightmare. It had no right to be, and-- well, Yosuke wasn't actually carving his chest open. He was awake. They both were. Which meant the outburst had to have been something pent up. He really was beating himself up over things. He waited for Yosuke's sobbing to resume, pulling himself together enough to move close again. If Akira was allowed to do so, he'd wrap Yosuke up in a hug, squeezing tightly. He still couldn't speak, but he could at least convey that Yosuke wasn't alone. Just because his parents had no feelings didn't mean the people around Yosuke lacked empathy. He just needed to believe in them. Trust them.
Avatar
Avatar
corvidknight
Akira was this close to making good on that hug threat. And then things went exactly like his nightmares said they would. He took a step back, trying to keep a straight face as pain lanced through his heart. Of course he couldn't do this, of course not. Yosuke wasn't actually interested in him. He pressed his lips together in a thin line, trying not to speak. The lump in his throat wouldn't let him. This couldn't be a nightmare. It had no right to be, and-- well, Yosuke wasn't actually carving his chest open. He was awake. They both were. Which meant the outburst had to have been something pent up. He really was beating himself up over things. He waited for Yosuke's sobbing to resume, pulling himself together enough to move close again. If Akira was allowed to do so, he'd wrap Yosuke up in a hug, squeezing tightly. He still couldn't speak, but he could at least convey that Yosuke wasn't alone. Just because his parents had no feelings didn't mean the people around Yosuke lacked empathy. He just needed to believe in them. Trust them.
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 3/11/2021 4:19 PM
Yosuke didn't fight him off this time. No, instead he found his body fitting so perfectly against Akira's, his bleeding eyes and wailing mouth buried in Akira's shoulder. How had he felt so long ago, when he found out his crush not only didn't like him, but actively thought he was annoying. Yosuke took a long time to come to terms with how he wasn't a victim-- he had been pushy and annoying, of course she hated him when her life was already so chaotic... But it still hurt. It still hurt whenever his best friends called him a "disappointment," as if they couldn't allow his head to get too big with their complements. Not that he didn't deserve it-- he'd make a snide comment and see the light disappear in their eyes, and felt daggers in his heart. God, was he shitty. It still hurt when girl after girl told him that he just clearly wasn't interested, and it's not because he's not attracted to them-- he just knows they wouldn't work out, so what's the point of trying? But God, was he shitty about it, stringing lover after lover along for weeks when he should have ended it the second he found them incompatible. And worst of all, he felt the heatbreak of knowing his parent's love was conditional. He wanted to keep believing that someday they would move on and accept him back, but he also had his doubts. (edited)
4:19 PM
After all, who would want a son like me? A pure disappointment, the second I open my mouth. He gripped onto Akira like an anchor, feeling like he might fall otherwise. He filled the forest with his devastated sobs, crying out all of the frustration he felt for months. Eventually, he calmed, sobs nothing more than weak whimpers that shook his body. He sniffs, long and hard, realizing just how much snot and tears were on his face. "... I'm sorry." He wasn't letting go of the other anytime soon. "I keep... I'm just sorry." For a moment, Yosuke felt a relief-- finally, someone had seen him fall to the bottom and was still there to help pick him back up. Maybe... that is what love is? (edited)
Avatar
corvidknight 3/11/2021 4:33 PM
Akira had only experienced someone break down to this extent twice before Yosuke, and he had personally been one one of them. He did what he could to help the other, alternating between an occasional squeeze and rubbing Yosuke's back. It took long - longer than Akira had expected, which led him to believe that there was, indeed, a lot of stuff Yosuke needed to work through. So he was fine with staying put, knowing full well that his sweater would need to be washed once they made a return. "Hey now..." A soft kiss was pressed to the side of Yosuke's head, Akira's scarred hand drifting up to try and smooth back a bit of his hair. All slow, all gentle. "It's alright. Sometimes, crying is the best answer before you can think properly. Do you feel better?"
Avatar
Avatar
corvidknight
Akira had only experienced someone break down to this extent twice before Yosuke, and he had personally been one one of them. He did what he could to help the other, alternating between an occasional squeeze and rubbing Yosuke's back. It took long - longer than Akira had expected, which led him to believe that there was, indeed, a lot of stuff Yosuke needed to work through. So he was fine with staying put, knowing full well that his sweater would need to be washed once they made a return. "Hey now..." A soft kiss was pressed to the side of Yosuke's head, Akira's scarred hand drifting up to try and smooth back a bit of his hair. All slow, all gentle. "It's alright. Sometimes, crying is the best answer before you can think properly. Do you feel better?"
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 3/11/2021 4:43 PM
Yosuke's crying seemed to start back up at the kiss and show of affection, and he dug himself back into the other as a series of hard sobs tore through him. How long has it been since he felt love like this...? Probably the last time was staying at Teddie's, and he almost had a break down there. He tries desperately to calm himself down again, gasping hard, then taking deep breaths when he can manage it. "... I dunno," he pulls something out from his pocket-- a hankerchief-- before wiping and blowing his nose. It was gross, but it was grosser to leave it on his face. He holds the tissue to his nose, then leans forward until his forehead touches with Akira's. He takes another deep breath. "I... I do like you. I do. I really, really do..." He breathes. "But, umm... Thank you, for being here with me. I'm glad it was you." Yosuke had a tendency to say things so cheesy it made the eyes roll, but there was something soft and genuine about the way he said it. He lets out a watery laugh. "Sorry I'm such an ugly crier."
Avatar
corvidknight 3/11/2021 4:53 PM
Did he fuck up? Akira tensed at the resurgence of tears, ready to pull away. He'd fucked up, and Yosuke hated him, and- oh. There was palpable relief in the air when Yosuke finally spoke, leaving Akira a little shocked at the forehead contact. Now Yosuke was way too close not to notice the very much loving look Akira was giving him. The jig is up, Akira is under arrest for gay crimes. Take him away, officer. "You're welcome," came the response, equally soft and equally genuine. An amused snort is drawn from him at the final comment, eyebrows finally unknitting themselves so that they could rise into his bangs, effectively disappearing from view, probably forever. "If you ever become a handsome crier, we could go viral." He shuffles a bit, readjusting his weight, as well as his arms around Yosuke. He had something else to say, but Akira was preoccupied with worrying his lower lip. If he didn't say it now, he might not say it at all. Worse still, it could lead to Yosuke regretting opening up on this deep of a level. "For what it's worth, I like you, too. And... if you just want to stay friends for now, that's okay. Work through things at your own pace, alright?"
Avatar
Avatar
corvidknight
Did he fuck up? Akira tensed at the resurgence of tears, ready to pull away. He'd fucked up, and Yosuke hated him, and- oh. There was palpable relief in the air when Yosuke finally spoke, leaving Akira a little shocked at the forehead contact. Now Yosuke was way too close not to notice the very much loving look Akira was giving him. The jig is up, Akira is under arrest for gay crimes. Take him away, officer. "You're welcome," came the response, equally soft and equally genuine. An amused snort is drawn from him at the final comment, eyebrows finally unknitting themselves so that they could rise into his bangs, effectively disappearing from view, probably forever. "If you ever become a handsome crier, we could go viral." He shuffles a bit, readjusting his weight, as well as his arms around Yosuke. He had something else to say, but Akira was preoccupied with worrying his lower lip. If he didn't say it now, he might not say it at all. Worse still, it could lead to Yosuke regretting opening up on this deep of a level. "For what it's worth, I like you, too. And... if you just want to stay friends for now, that's okay. Work through things at your own pace, alright?"
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 3/11/2021 7:18 PM
Yosuke lets out a little laugh at the viral comment, looking down to his hand pressed against Akira's chest. They were flushed together pretty tight on this early spring morning, their breathes fogging and their cheeks pink. Yosuke looks up at the admittance-- he thinks that maybe this is the first time Akira told him that himself. Not through emojis, not through Futaba-- just him, being blunt about his feelings. Yosuke can't help but gain a warm smile in return to the way Akira was looking at him, that loving gaze making him feel like his insides were warm and his outsides were electrified. He nods a bit at the consideration-- of course Akira was willing to take it slow. However, Yosuke had other ideas, and it reflected in his playful smirk. "Yeah, b-but... now would be the perfect time for a first kiss, wouldn't it?" Akira might feel his heart start to race after he says something so bold. It felt like his whole body was throbbing to his heart. Talk about gay panic...
Avatar
corvidknight 3/11/2021 7:24 PM
At this point, with how Yosuke had been acting in the past, Akira had wholeheartedly expected his comment to actually lead to the other pulling away. Maybe even being hurt by the way he said it. He always second-guessed when he said those sorts of things - it was easy to read it as a rejection, or a way for someone else to downplay how they were feeling. However, Yosuke did neither of those things. He seemed perfectly fine. Happy, even, with the outcome of the situation, despite the sobbing hiccup. Unfortunately for Yosuke, Akira was too confident for his heart to start racing. Beneath the other's hand, his heart beat was strong and even, betraying the calm he felt. Maybe he was even confident enough to lean in a little, leaving only a few inches between their lips while he sported his own smirk. "It would be, wouldn't it?"
Avatar
Avatar
corvidknight
At this point, with how Yosuke had been acting in the past, Akira had wholeheartedly expected his comment to actually lead to the other pulling away. Maybe even being hurt by the way he said it. He always second-guessed when he said those sorts of things - it was easy to read it as a rejection, or a way for someone else to downplay how they were feeling. However, Yosuke did neither of those things. He seemed perfectly fine. Happy, even, with the outcome of the situation, despite the sobbing hiccup. Unfortunately for Yosuke, Akira was too confident for his heart to start racing. Beneath the other's hand, his heart beat was strong and even, betraying the calm he felt. Maybe he was even confident enough to lean in a little, leaving only a few inches between their lips while he sported his own smirk. "It would be, wouldn't it?"
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 3/11/2021 7:37 PM
Yosuke's face lights up red, heat in his entire face and ears. He would probably look a strange shade of pink from the embarrassment. Honestly? Yosuke had always been the one to take control in these things. He would lean down and pull a girl up to kiss her on her face, then lips, and she would laugh and he was rather proud of that. Even his first kiss was his own decision-- it wasn't on the beach in the sunset like he wanted it to be, but it was at night in front of a park water fountain, scooting himself closer on the bench and tucking her hair back to kiss her slowly, gently. This, though? With HIM wrapped up in someone else's arms? With the OTHER taking the initiative (even though he had made the comment)? This was a COMPLETELY different ball game. It was basically his second first kiss, and he wasn't sure what to do with that. There was a lot of firsts this past year, telling his brother about his sexuality, coming out to his parents, getting a new job at Okumura foods-- it was all dizzying. And for a moment, Yosuke was so wrapped up in it he kind of forgot howto kiss. But the way that Akira's painfully long eyelashes brushed his cheek... Yosuke let instinct take over. His eyes slid closed and he gently leans in, his lips finding purchase with the corner of Akira's mouth-- he missed. But thankfully, instead of chickening out, he firmly pressed their lips together, and that seemed to seal the deal. He distantly thought of the frog being kissed and turning into a prince. Maybe it was a metaphor? He had finally jumped a hurdle, and his fear dissipated-- he leaned in for more. Then parted, forehead still pressed to Akira's. He lets out a long, relieved breath... The laughs-- because it's all he feels like doing, right now.
Avatar
corvidknight 3/11/2021 7:46 PM
There it was. The flutter. One would think that having multiple partners would do something to mitigate, even dissipate the feeling of that first kiss with someone he liked. It didn't, though, and that same anxious heart flutter accompanied this kiss, as it had with all of his previous kisses with the people he liked. It was his turn for his cheeks to tint, breath hitching at the feeling of the cautious warmth blooming in his chest. His nightmares never let him get this far. This had to be real. It was a great thing Yosuke was a bit firmer than Akira would have been, as it forced his thoughts to vacate his skull so that his lips could Do The Talking, as it were. This was so much better than being anxious, or watching Yosuke cry. The parting left a tingle on his lips, a sparking electricity that told him this was definitely real. He could not wait to share with his partners later, but right now Yosuke was his main focus, still close and still very much commanding Akira's attention. "It's like music," he whispered, knowing exactly how gay his compliment sounded. He would not be apologizing, and he is not taking constructive criticism at this time. After a moment, he recognized that they were still standing outside, no source of warmth save for each other, and reached to gently grasp Yosuke's hand. If he were to grab it, he'd bring it to his lips and press kisses along the other's knuckles. "... do you think we should head back? It's cold. I'll make coffee."
Avatar
Avatar
corvidknight
There it was. The flutter. One would think that having multiple partners would do something to mitigate, even dissipate the feeling of that first kiss with someone he liked. It didn't, though, and that same anxious heart flutter accompanied this kiss, as it had with all of his previous kisses with the people he liked. It was his turn for his cheeks to tint, breath hitching at the feeling of the cautious warmth blooming in his chest. His nightmares never let him get this far. This had to be real. It was a great thing Yosuke was a bit firmer than Akira would have been, as it forced his thoughts to vacate his skull so that his lips could Do The Talking, as it were. This was so much better than being anxious, or watching Yosuke cry. The parting left a tingle on his lips, a sparking electricity that told him this was definitely real. He could not wait to share with his partners later, but right now Yosuke was his main focus, still close and still very much commanding Akira's attention. "It's like music," he whispered, knowing exactly how gay his compliment sounded. He would not be apologizing, and he is not taking constructive criticism at this time. After a moment, he recognized that they were still standing outside, no source of warmth save for each other, and reached to gently grasp Yosuke's hand. If he were to grab it, he'd bring it to his lips and press kisses along the other's knuckles. "... do you think we should head back? It's cold. I'll make coffee."
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 3/11/2021 7:57 PM
The comment was definitely cheesy, but something about it made Yosuke's eyes go misty-- did Akira notice? The guitars on his walls and keyboard in front of the computer? This guy was... definitely too good to him. You don't deserve it, a little voice hissed. He shoved it away, not knowing in the moment that it would come back to haunt him later. Yosuke sucks in a deep breath through his mouth, still stuffed up, and watches the other take his hand and kiss his knuckles lovingly. He almost shivers at the feeling of butterflies in his rib-cage. Yeah, if he had any doubt, it was gone now. He was definitely into guys. He smiles sweetly and grips Akira's hand, letting out a long breath that fogged the air. "Yeah-- I actually hate the cold," he said with a laugh, gripping the other's hand for warmth. "Coffee sounds... nice. Still not my favorite, but yours is the only one I'll drink." He flushes himself into the other's side, their arms circling each other as they started to head back, slowly, with gentle conversation.
Avatar
Deleted User 11/8/2022 2:53 AM
yooooo. yooooosuke. you busy?
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/8/2022 2:54 AM
Not too much... What's up?
Avatar
Deleted User 11/8/2022 2:56 AM
nothin much, just figured i'd come check in on ya :] you sure you're good? if you gotta talk about anythin i'm here, y'know
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/8/2022 2:58 AM
... Thanks Sho. I guess, out of anyone, you'd understand going through a hard time... I'm fine. I just have some personal business, that's all.
Avatar
Deleted User 11/8/2022 3:01 AM
... yeah, i get ya. offer still stands tho, k?
3:03 AM
whenever you need an ear, i'm here to hear, hehe
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/8/2022 3:04 AM
Thanks... I do appreciate it. Sorry I seen so... Distant ig. You'll be hearing from me if I need you.
Avatar
Deleted User 11/8/2022 3:07 AM
no worries, like you said, i know this sorta shit isnt easy heh, good! catch ya in chat later šŸ‘‹
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/8/2022 3:15 AM
Thanks, see you soon!
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 11/24/2022 8:00 PM
Turned away, hm...? Pursuit of truth placed above all else: Even you.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/24/2022 8:01 PM
Please just leave me alone.
Avatar
Emily eats TWO lemons 11/24/2022 8:50 PM
...A bold ask, though.. just this once... very well. Rest.
Avatar
Deleted User 11/25/2022 2:17 AM
hey man šŸ‘‹ just figured i'd come check in on ya, know it's a little late but i was busy when stuff was goin down the other day everything alright with you??
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/25/2022 2:17 AM
... Yu told you what happened, huh?
Avatar
Deleted User 11/25/2022 2:20 AM
yeah, figured you'd see that but look, whatever's goin on between you two, that's between you two, i'm not tryin to get in the middle of none of that
2:21 AM
i just... i know ain't around much, but i worry
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/25/2022 2:22 AM
You're fine, Sho. You don't have a responsibility to be everyone's crying shoulder. You have your own things to deal with, too.
Avatar
Deleted User 11/25/2022 2:22 AM
i'm not checkin on ya out of a responsibility, i'm here cuz i wanna be
2:26 AM
we all got our issues, it ain't the olympics. you're my friend, that means i'm gonna offer ya my shoulder regardless of whatever else is goin on in my life :) and i know you'd do the same, too
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/25/2022 2:27 AM
Thank you...
2:27 AM
I don't really have anything to say, though. I'm sorry.
Avatar
Deleted User 11/25/2022 2:28 AM
alright, if you're sure. just gimme a shout if that changes though, yeah?
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/25/2022 2:29 AM
Sure thing. Thanks, Sho.
Avatar
Deleted User 11/25/2022 2:29 AM
anytime šŸ‘
Avatar
Ź• ļ¾Ÿ āˆ€ ļ¾ŸŹ” You.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/27/2022 6:52 AM
... me?
Avatar
What happened to the talking plans? Ź• ´āˆ€ļ½€Ź” I would loooove to know
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/27/2022 6:54 AM
oh... that
6:55 AM
well... we confessed to each other.
6:55 AM
You did?????
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/27/2022 6:55 AM
but yu said i needed to get help first, essentially
6:55 AM
for my... everything
6:55 AM
and hes right (edited)
6:55 AM
so... not a whole lot there
Avatar
ā€¦.That. was the conversation
6:57 AM
?
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/27/2022 6:57 AM
essentially?
Avatar
?????
6:58 AM
i
6:58 AM
????????????
6:58 AM
are you sure?
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/27/2022 6:59 AM
... Yes. I was there.
Avatar
....Oh
7:00 AM
and that's. All he said?...
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/27/2022 7:01 AM
Well... He's definitely really worried about me.
Avatar
And he didn't even see that as important enough to count as a talk about feelings?.................
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/27/2022 7:01 AM
I... Guess not?
Avatar
but I
7:02 AM
thought...
7:02 AM
oh nii
7:02 AM
I'm so sorry.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/27/2022 7:03 AM
Oh... It's ok. I'm ok with it... He's right, I need to work on myself first before jumping into a new relationship.
Avatar
And the best way to do that was to make you do it alone?...
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/27/2022 7:05 AM
... when you say it like that, it makes it sound really cruel lol... (edited)
7:05 AM
Are you sure you're okay?...
7:05 AM
thats...
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/27/2022 7:08 AM
I won't lie... It hurts. It's hard to face. It's the mature thing to do, though. He's still there for me. It's just that if we were together, it might make the romance crumble, and make us hate each other, which neither of us want.
Avatar
so then
7:09 AM
Where does that leave it?..
7:09 AM
wasn't he the one trying to get you to notice him?...
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/27/2022 7:10 AM
We're still best friends Ted. And... We'll probably be together in the future. It's not like things are broken between us.
7:12 AM
okay...
7:12 AM
ahh
7:12 AM
Im sorry.
7:12 AM
real life sucks.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 11/27/2022 7:13 AM
It can suck, but we all still have each other, and that's all I can ask for.
Avatar
į“›į“ŹœŹ€į“œ į“€į“…į“€į“„ŹœÉŖ BOT 12/5/2022 7:21 PM
hey... ya good?
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/5/2022 7:24 PM
Why do you care
Avatar
į“›į“ŹœŹ€į“œ į“€į“…į“€į“„ŹœÉŖ BOT 12/5/2022 7:25 PM
ya disconnected pretty quick there
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/5/2022 7:25 PM
Yeah. I felt pretty shitty, being publicly chastised. I wanted to be alone.
Avatar
į“›į“ŹœŹ€į“œ į“€į“…į“€į“„ŹœÉŖ BOT 12/5/2022 7:26 PM
guess that makes sense
7:26 PM
thought id still check in or whatever
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/5/2022 7:27 PM
... look. I know who you are. No one told me, but it's pretty obvious. I get that you know what it's like to make mistakes and all... But I don't think you're equiped to hear how I feel lol I just fucked up again and I need to deal with that. I'm sure you get it
Avatar
į“›į“ŹœŹ€į“œ į“€į“…į“€į“„ŹœÉŖ BOT 12/5/2022 7:29 PM
guess i coulda tried a lil harder to hide it... oh well
7:30 PM
i guess ill leave ya to your business if ya really want, but youre only hurting yourself pushing people away like that
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/5/2022 7:32 PM
Who could I possibly tell? Everyone is dealing with their own stuff.
Avatar
į“›į“ŹœŹ€į“œ į“€į“…į“€į“„ŹœÉŖ BOT 12/5/2022 7:33 PM
dont invalidate your own shit
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/5/2022 7:33 PM
... yeah... I guess I can start by saying sorry.
Avatar
į“›į“ŹœŹ€į“œ į“€į“…į“€į“„ŹœÉŖ BOT 12/5/2022 7:34 PM
to yu-kun?
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/5/2022 7:34 PM
Yes.
Avatar
į“›į“ŹœŹ€į“œ į“€į“…į“€į“„ŹœÉŖ BOT 12/5/2022 7:34 PM
hell just smile and say its fine even if it isnt
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/5/2022 7:35 PM
Maybe to you. He usually struggles to hide things from me.
Avatar
į“›į“ŹœŹ€į“œ į“€į“…į“€į“„ŹœÉŖ BOT 12/5/2022 7:35 PM
uh huh
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/5/2022 7:35 PM
Have you ever had a best friend?
Avatar
į“›į“ŹœŹ€į“œ į“€į“…į“€į“„ŹœÉŖ BOT 12/5/2022 7:35 PM
sheesh thats sudden
7:35 PM
ig
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/5/2022 7:36 PM
Then you would know, right? You would know which smiles are genuine. You would know when something is wrong. Eventually, it looks like they're bad at hiding it. Right?
Avatar
į“›į“ŹœŹ€į“œ į“€į“…į“€į“„ŹœÉŖ BOT 12/5/2022 7:37 PM
that kid has more fake smiles than real ones nowadays
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/5/2022 7:37 PM
... I know. That's my fault.
Avatar
į“›į“ŹœŹ€į“œ į“€į“…į“€į“„ŹœÉŖ BOT 12/5/2022 7:38 PM
there ya go blaming yourself for everything again
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/5/2022 7:39 PM
I mean it this time... I just keep worrying him. I see it after I talk to him...
Avatar
į“›į“ŹœŹ€į“œ į“€į“…į“€į“„ŹœÉŖ BOT 12/5/2022 7:39 PM
and you talking down on yourself like this is only making it worse
7:39 PM
ya know that right
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/5/2022 7:40 PM
... I know. I need to try and... Forgive myself.
Avatar
į“›į“ŹœŹ€į“œ į“€į“…į“€į“„ŹœÉŖ BOT 12/5/2022 7:40 PM
prolly help the both of you out
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/5/2022 7:40 PM
Yeah...
7:40 PM
I should go. I have to take a shower and stuff.
7:41 PM
I'll see you at Christmas ig
Avatar
į“›į“ŹœŹ€į“œ į“€į“…į“€į“„ŹœÉŖ BOT 12/5/2022 7:41 PM
sure sure
7:41 PM
see ya at christmas
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/5/2022 7:43 PM
Please delete that You're gonna get me killed
Avatar
į“›į“ŹœŹ€į“œ į“€į“…į“€į“„ŹœÉŖ BOT 12/5/2022 7:43 PM
fine
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/5/2022 7:44 PM
Thanks
Avatar
į“›į“ŹœŹ€į“œ į“€į“…į“€į“„ŹœÉŖ BOT 12/5/2022 7:44 PM
np
7:44 PM
yu-kun would be obnoxious as hell if anything happened
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/5/2022 7:44 PM
... Yeah
Avatar
į“›į“ŹœŹ€į“œ į“€į“…į“€į“„ŹœÉŖ BOT 12/5/2022 8:00 PM
punk cares about you a lot. gotta get your act together for him
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/5/2022 8:02 PM
I know... I will.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/5/2022 8:37 PM
((/kicks Adachi out))
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/5/2022 8:45 PM
Yosuke finally managed to breathe again, his hands pressed into the tile as the shower head drenched him in water. He felt the rivets of water wash away his tears, his feelings of self pity going down the drain, letting him finally rise again after emotionally spiraling. It had been a bad one, and pretending he was ok in front of Yu while he couldn't breathe was almost impossible... But he managed it. He finally turns off the water, hastily drying himself off, feeling born again after scorching a layer of skin off. He loved a long shower, the tension seeping out of him and warming him like a large hug. Finally dressed in a Tshirt and shorts, he emerges, feeling tired but knowing he needed to make himself move to where his partner was. He watches Yu for a moment, trying to gauge how the other felt. In only a few steps, Yosuke was behind him, wrapping his arms around Yu and melting against the other's warmth. To feel another person after so long... It was such a relief to know that they were both still breathing, despite everything. "I'm sorry," he starts, closing his eyes, "I'm sorry I mentioned your parents. It was a breach of your trust and... It wasn't mine to tell."
8:45 PM
@Phea: full-time twink bullier hehehehehe
Avatar
Phea: full-time twink bullier 12/5/2022 9:33 PM
Reminders of a less than pleasant past weren't exactly how Yu wanted to spend his night after workā€¦ Then again, that wasn't something he ever particularly wanted to be confronted with. Not in a public chatroom, and especially not when it was being brought up by his best friend without his permission in the same breath as treating him like a child. ā€¦That type of thought wasn't going to do him any good, and, instead of letting his thoughts get the better of him, his focus quickly turned elsewhere. Distractions often came in menial tasks, and that meant focusing solely on his work, blocking out everything else to get ahead on the next day's assignments and prepare himself for the field. Emotions didn't matter when there was work to get doneā€”that was the Narukami way, and it was something he would live and die by, if permitted. The Narukami wayā€¦ There were a lot of things wrong living like that, some of which Yu was well aware of, butā€¦ It had gotten him this far without fail. It allowed him to keep himself from falling apart, and especially at a time like this, it felt like just about all he had to keep himself sane. Expression hadn't exactly been obvious in his faceā€”it was just about as blank as ever, the only sign of anything abnormal being how he lightly fiddled with the edges of his manilla folders, needing something to keep his hands busy. They had been clearly creased after enough time, ready to fall off with a good tug, yet Yu kept pulling the corners back and forth with little regard for its integrity. That motion had only stopped once he felt Yosuke's weight against him, tensing up slightly at the sudden touch. He'd never liked people getting on him out of nowhereā€¦ Well, when he was sober, at least. It made him feel uncomfortable, especially with the way Yosuke apologized right after, but he hit his lip and grabbed for one of Yosuke's hands, nervously rubbing his thumbs against the otherā€™s skin as he thought on a response for a few moments. "...It's okay, Yosuke." That's all he really could say, right? After all, it wasn't like Yosuke knew betterā€¦ "You're going to get sick again if you keep stressing yourself out like that." His grip on Yosuke's hand tightened, either looking to give or receive some sort of comfortā€”or, both, given the situation. "After all," his voice was a little more hesitant, gaze trailing off into nothing in particular in the distance. "I've invaded all of your private thoughts and memories in the TV Worldā€”Letting things like that out is only fair, right?" Yeahā€¦ Maybe. Maybe not. Like he knew. Really, he just wanted to stop thinking about it as a whole.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/5/2022 10:23 PM
Yosuke sighed again, his eyes opening a sliver to look over Yu's work -- before he buried his face into the others neck, hiding, seeking warmth and human contact. "It's still not right. I was such a hypocrite, telling you to set boundaries while breaking them... It was stupid of me," Yu could feel a long breath ghost over his skin, "Even now, I'm doing it. It's ok to call me stupid -- about when I do something wrong. I'd really prefer it coming from you than--" He almost says Adachi's name, but decides against it. He didn't want to stress out Yu anymore. "Than that Viper guy, I mean."
Avatar
Phea: full-time twink bullier 12/5/2022 10:38 PM
Eyes widened as he felt Yosuke's face in his neck, a Iight frown hidden beneath the surface beginning to develop. Sure, contact was nice, but... Yu wasn't sure how much he wanted that right now. If Yosuke needed it to calm his nerves, though, Yu would deal with his grievances another day. "I would never call you stupid." The pace of his thumbs had slowed ever so slightly, Yu reminding himself to breath with every couple circles. It wasn't much, but it at least allowed him to keep some of his composure. "You could think a little more... And a little harder... But you're not an idiot. You're one of the smartest people I know. You're just... Impulsive." After a brief pause, he lightly slipped a hand away from Yosuke's and bent it back slightly to run through his partner's hair. It had still been a little damp from the showerā€”not that Yu minded, fingers dancing through them over and over in a move that had hopefully been comforting for his partner. "It's okay, really." The attempts at assurance may have fallen a little flat, considering how poorly Yu had done to cover up his anxiety over the situation, but he failed to acknowledge any such thing as he continued on. "We all make mistakes, but as long as we learn from them, I think it's fine." Not that such a thing would let him sleep easy tonight, but he wasn't going to slip that part in. (edited)
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/5/2022 10:50 PM
"You're still doing it." Yosuke lifts his head, a hand moving to brace on Yu's chair and turn it so that they're facing each other. Yosuke looks... exhausted, like he hasn't had good sleep in months. He can see into Yu's face this way, taking his hand instead and kneeling in front of him, elbow on Yu's lap and cheek on his palm. He rubs his thumb over Yu's hand. "You're not admitting anything. You're just telling me it's ok. But it's not-- I can see that it's not." Yosuke reaches up to tuck a piece of hair behind Yu's ear. "Why are you lying? I thought we promised not to lie to each other?" Yosuke sighs, annoyance crossing his face. He gets up, hands braced on the arms of Yu's chair, his face inches away from his. "Why are you still refusing to set boundaries? I know you don't want me here right now, so why not tell me that?" Honestly, it was all just a guess, based on what Yu was saying... But he knew Yu was hurt about it. The way Yu ran his hand through Yosuke's hair had been the evidence: Yu was trying to comfort HIM. Yosuke didn't want that. He came here to help Yu. "How about this: you tell me what I can do to make it up to you." Maybe after calling the other out he could get what he wanted: something genuine. Something... Human. He wanted Yu to tell him he fucked up. He wanted Yu to call him annoying-- anything. He could feel something was wrong, and he wanted to draw it out, like squeezing a sponge after absorbing black fluid.
Avatar
Phea: full-time twink bullier 12/6/2022 3:26 PM
Though Yuā€™s act may not have been very deceiving, it still somehow came as a shock to him at Yosukeā€™s next words, instinctively nibbling at the inside of his lip as his partner flipped him around, making no effort to keep his feet on the ground or hold onto his desk to keep himself from facing the other. Maybe he should have, though, if Yosuke was going to look at him like thatā€¦ Following the otherā€™s movements, all Yu could do was prepare himself for whatever would come next out of partnerā€™s mouth. Those words werenā€™t exactly kindā€”Of course they werenā€™t, especially as Yosuke broke down his facade that he tried so desperately to keep up in moments like these. All he could do was bite back a frown, as if holding onto any semblance of being okay. That changed when Yosuke brought up the promise, face dropping as he desperately tried to look away to no avail as his partner rapidly closed the gap between them. His eyes couldnā€™t lie nowā€”He was backed into a corner, stomach churning as Yosuke pushed him harder and harder. Not that he planned to break entirely, but he felt sick at Yosukeā€™s words, and just wanted out of this whole scenario as soon as possible. ā€œOf course I want you here.ā€ Yosukeā€™s presence itself wasnā€™t the problem. At least, Yu didnā€™t think it was. Sure, Yosukeā€™s words had been difficult for him to swallow or respond to in any meaningful way, and the sudden touch failed to bring much comfort at first, butā€¦ He still wanted to see his partner. Justā€¦ Not like this. Yosukeā€™s question had offered some sort of escape, at least. A chance to get out of this situation, and to not have Yosukeā€™s tired gaze digging into him and words slashing like swords against his skin. It wasnā€™t too late into the eveningā€”Yu had the nearby window cracked open enough to hear all of the commotion outside, sounds reaching him as little more than whispers, but prominent nonetheless. There was still time to make something of the night, rather than sitting at his desk, continuing to scan through page after page as a weak distraction from his thoughts. Not that Yu had anything specific in mind, butā€¦ ā€œ...You could take me out to dinner.ā€ Was that enoughā€¦? Given how Yosuke had been acting, maybe notā€¦ His partner really didnā€™t have anything to make up for, at least in his eyes. Yu was justā€¦ Overreacting. Yeah, that was it. Yosuke should have been allowed to talk about stuff like that, and there was a decade of distance, soā€¦ It wasnā€™t like any of that bothered him anymore. He had accepted his parentsā€™ mistreatmentā€”They never loved him, but he had Dojima-sanā€¦ It didnā€™t matter how they treated or saw him.
3:26 PM
If that was the case, then why did it hurt so muchā€¦? ā€¦Those thoughts were clouding his mind from the conversation at hand. If he didnā€™t finish his thought soon, then Yosuke would only get more worried, and he couldnā€™t meet his gaze for much longer if he kept up with thatā€¦ ā€œAfter, we can go out to the arcade,ā€ he continued after a beat of silence, as if finishing his pondering for some grand plan rather than winging it, reaching out to place one hand lightly against Yosukeā€™s cheek, the other slipping down his partnerā€™s side before finding its resting place on the manā€™s hip as he spoke, ā€œyou can win me something at the claw machine, maybe go bowling or have a couple rounds at a bar and play some pool, and when we come back you can play some music for me until I fall asleep.ā€ Even if it was something that practically fumbled out of his mouth, the outing did sound really nice. Just a nice, friendly outingā€¦ Not a date, of course, even with how his thumb hovered dangerously close to brushing against Yosukeā€™s lips, and at any moment they couldā€¦ ā€œ...Does that sound like a plan?ā€ The question had come out a little sheepishly as he turned his head away, cheeks heating up at an increasingly alarming speed. Getting anything out of Yu was a challenge in itself. Really, the red in his cheeks was much more than he would typically let escape him, and even then, he had been doing his best to move past it. Pulling his hand away from Yosuke for a moment and shuffling around in his pocket, he hurriedly brought out a cigarette and slipped it between his partner's lips before he could endure anymore embarrassment.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/8/2022 7:54 PM
Yosuke kept watching Yu as he fumbled through his words, catching the glaze in Yu's eyes and the way he looked away. The dust of pink on Yu's cheeks suggested he was embarrassed by what he was talking about, and it ended with Yosuke having a cigarette in his mouth. He hated Yu's cigarettes. His own were flavored and smelled like fruity smoke. However, he still had to bite back the itch to light it up. He let out a puff through his nostrils, eyes closing. He takes the cigarette and sets it on Yu's papers. Yosuke looks down at Yu with eyes that say, "I just want you to tell me the truth." He leans in, pressing his forehead to the others, their breaths mingling. "... Do you actually wanna do those things, or do you just want us to stop 'fighting.'" He knew Yu well, and he knew that discordance always made Yu upset. If an argument broke out between any of them, Yu looked like he may just break down and cry, trying desperately to rectify the situation. Yosuke often interrupted in his place. Yosuke softened up as he remembered this, pulling away and sitting on his haunches so that he was looking up at him instead. His eyes were gentle, even if he still looked tired. He rested his arms on Yu's lap. "I can take you outā€¦ I just want you to set boundaries, even with me. It's ok to admit I crossed a lineā€“ I want you to. I want you to be honest and open with me. If you don't want toā€¦" Yosuke looked away, sadness shadowing his expression. "I understand. I've betrayed your trust a lot lately, after all."
Avatar
Phea: full-time twink bullier 12/9/2022 12:44 AM
Wellā€¦ That didnā€™t work well. Even if he wasnā€™t focused on Yosukeā€™s lips anymore, there was a much bigger issue that came with the otherā€™s eyes tearing into him, feeling his stomach twist at the message. There it was; Yosukeā€™s serious face. Now he wasnā€™t getting out of this, no matter how hard he triedā€¦ ā€¦And now their faces were even closer than before, Yu having to actively remind himself of the situation so his cheeks didnā€™t heat up anymore. Though, luckily, he didnā€™t have to do that for long. Unluckily, the thing that had made him able to forget that had only made his chest and stomach burn more, finding himself in desperate need to suddenly take a couple of deep breaths to calm himself. Of course he didnā€™t want to fight with his best friendā€”Even if he did his best to keep a clear mind, getting forced into this sort of situation, especially with how high tensions were forā€¦ Other reasonsā€¦ Made it difficult to hold himself together. He did want to go out, butā€¦ Maybe that was just him telling himself that because it was simply better than what he was currently faced with. This wasnā€™t working. Trying to keep things to himself was just hurting them bothā€¦ That was no more evident than the look on Yosukeā€™s face when he had moved back onto the floor. It was hard to keep himself from frowning back, biting at the inside of his mouth hard enough that he could have drawn blood. Why couldnā€™t things be simple, like they used to beā€¦? When every day hadnā€™t felt like they were on the brink of fighting or breaking down? When they didnā€™t need to constantly apologize and forgive one another in a never ending cycle of regret and remorse? ā€œ...You did cross a line.ā€ If thatā€™s what Yosuke wanted to hear, then thatā€™s what he would tell him, even if he didnā€™t entirely believe that statement. Thatā€™s what would make Yosuke happy, wouldnā€™t itā€¦? Still, it was hard to say on its own, having to pin more of his true thoughts onto the end. ā€œBut I didnā€™t draw it beforehand.ā€ Maybe Yosuke should have known that wasnā€™t something to bring up, especially in public, though that wasnā€™t something Yu told him. They really had never established boundariesā€”Maybe that was his fault, butā€¦ It wasnā€™t something he could put on the otherā€™s shoulders. ā€œYou donā€™t have to blame yourself. You didnā€™t know.ā€ His eyes flickered away for a brief moment, finding it difficult to look directly at Yosuke right now. Looking down at the other actively making himself lesserā€¦ He never liked seeing that. Yosuke was more than he could ever be, and having the other kneel down like that wasā€¦ Upsetting, to say the least. He wanted to be on an equal level, like they always had been, not with Yosuke on his knees begging for some sort of forgiveness or openness. Thatā€¦ Wasnā€™t right, and that sort of pressure was just about to make him break, looking for any reason to be able to fix the situation, trying to find something to make things a little better between them. ā€œItā€™sā€¦ Not something I want to talk about right now.ā€ Being honest would be for the best, at this point. There was no reason to keep dodging Yosukeā€™s questions if it was going to upset him this much. ā€œMaybe after the holidays, butā€¦ Not right now.ā€ Parents were the last thing he wanted to think about when it came to Christmas and New Years, and he knew it had probably been the same for Yosuke, considering how many holidays he had skipped out on the Hanamura Family Christmas for the Dojimas, even with someone like Adachi-san attending as well. Having to talk about them didnā€™t exactly put him in the holiday spiritā€”Far from it, considering they had never even given him those sorts of celebrations.
12:44 AM
Yu had never been able to have any sort of holiday with them. Santa was never real, and all of that Christmas cheer simply served as a distraction to what really mattered to them. All work, no play, with Yu not even getting something as simply as a present from them during the holidays. Sure, they gave him money to do whatever he wanted, butā€¦ They never tried enough to even bother learning something about him and give him anything that actually showed they knew him. That they cared. So, safe to say that wasnā€™t a topic that was on the table. All he wanted right now was to have a fun timeā€”To forget about that for a while. Hopefully to just abandon it in the back of his mind entirely, if he could. ā€œCome on.ā€ Carefully taking Yosukeā€™s hands while planting his feet on the ground and standing, he kicked his chair lightly back, lightly pulling his partner up to meet his gaze. ā€œYou have a dinner to take me to.ā€ Attempting his best at a light smile, he slipped past the other, taking his cigarette from the table and heading out to the balcony. Hopefully a quick smoke would give Yosuke enough time to get dressed and move past the topic for now, and they could just have a nice night outā€¦ It felt like forever since theyā€™d been able to have one of those on their own, but maybe Yu had just been too caught up in his own head, too stressed over everything going on. Maybe he simply needed to calm himself down and just forget about it all. Maybe then they could finally be happy, at least for a night.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/9/2022 2:42 AM
Yosuke's stomach rolls as he finally hears it, Yu telling him the truth. He did cross a line. He had to close his eyes to keep from tearing up, but the knit in his brow was enough to suggest how he was feeling. "Iā€“" He had opened his mouth to say something, but Yu gently said he didn't want to talk about it. That was fair. Both of them had difficult relationships with their parents. The holidays were a reminder of that, as well as a rewriting of their past. The large family get-togethers at the Hanamura estate at New Year's that he was expected to show up to, despite all of the pain his parents put him throughā€¦ he would much rather spend time at the much smaller Dojima house, feeling wanted and welcome. Yosuke didn't blame him. He also understood how Yu must have felt about Yosuke airing out his dirty laundry. If Yu or Kanji or Teddie told a chatroom about his falling out with his parents, Yosuke would feel a terrible betrayal. Yosuke was pulled out of his hole of self-hatred when Yu gently took his hands, pulling him up to stand. Yosuke stared at him a moment, trying to express how sorry he was with his gazeā€¦ but closed his eyes and offered a sad smile instead. "Okā€“ I'll take you someplace really nice, ok?" He winks, his expression looking more light. As Yu leaves the room, Yosuke feels a cold chill enter the air. He hugs his arms, looking downā€“ He sees a shadow of a person standing behind him. Yosuke gasps and stumbles away from the presence, but upon turning around, sees no one there. ā€¦ He was starting to see things, he reckoned. He needed more sleep. After a few minutes, Yosuke emerges in a black denim jacket and a bright yellow hoodie, smiling warmly at his partner. After getting himself gussied up, he looks much more at ease and like himself. The prospect of going out always brightened Yosuke's mood. It was a lot of why he asked if Yu was asking to go out for his own sake or notā€¦ "If we plan on drinking, we should head somewhere nearby. How about the steakhouse?"
Avatar
Phea: full-time twink bullier 12/9/2022 5:40 PM
Even if smoking was unhealthy, it made for a good stress reliever. Yu had never understood why Dojima practically always had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth when he was younger, but after enough years, he found himself in a similar habit with the exact same brand his uncle smoked. Like father, like son, he supposed. At the sound of the other's voice through the half opened balcony door, though, he put out his half-finished smoke and turned to face the other, a smile erupting at the splash of yellow. It was always nice to see something so bright that actually seemed to almost meet Yosukeā€™s eyes, even if the black had done its best to cover any sort of light up. The dinner suggestion had been a bit of a shock, but Yu certainly couldn't complainā€”Yosuke really knew his way to a man's heart. "You're really treating me like a gentleman." After moving back into the living room and shutting the sliding door behind him, he moved to take the other's hand and intertwine them, albeit briefly. "I can't say no to steak." It didn't take long for them to leave after that, Yu having briskly thrown on a trench coat he had hanging up and leading his partner out the door. Yongen-Jaya wasn't the prettiest area in Tokyoā€”Yu had contemplated going for something a little more in the heart of the city, both for his career and to reach more nightlife without having to worry about train schedulesā€”but it was a little quieter of an area in the big city, giving both of them a break from the bright neon world that engulfed many of the other places that they had considered. Besides, the simplicity of it all had a much more homely vibe than Shibuya or Shinjuku. They had business and excitement beyond a person's wildest imagination, but it was hard to be able to have a nice, peaceful outing, side by side with his partner while listening to each other's breath and steps in the relatively quiet night. "I wonder if it'll snow soon." The thought had come to him as he watched a light non-smoke cloud erupt from his partner's lips, the early signs of winter truly making themselves seen. "You know, it's been a while since we've taken any winter tripsā€¦" Well, together, at least. Shadow Operative work had led to Yu taking frequent trips out of Tokyo to deal with threats across the nation, even sometimes the world, on rare occasions any higher ranking members weren't available to take care of business. Only recently did he have a truly stable stay in Tokyoā€”Previously, he'd been out of the city more than in it, but desperate times called for desperate measures, and he'd been stationed in Tokyo permanently until the situation had lessened in severity. Those sorts of trips almost never included Yosuke. As much as he would have loved to explore the world with his best friend, they had always had much different ways of life. Yu dedicated himself to the Shadow Operatives and his own private work, and Yosuke had put attention to working to help children and developing his musical skills. They had served as two very different pathsā€¦ One that Yu feared had led to the fragmenting of their relationship now. ā€¦That shouldn't have been a worry right now, though. Sure, they had been on different paths, but things weren't so bad that they had ever left each other's side. Yu was always beyond thrilled to come back home and see his partner again after his long trips, and even now, he was enamored with the man, wanting to spend as much time as he possibly could making the man happy, dedicating his life to him. Dramatic? Maybe, but Yu hadn't exactly been the type for subtle emotions towards his bonds. "Maybe we could talk Dojima-san into moving the holidays to a ski lodge, orā€¦" he looked to his partner, a light grin having slipped onto his face as the next part of his sentence had been uttered, "We could take a vacation by ourselves." ā€¦Then again, it wasn't like they were together. It would have just been two friends going, which was great in its own right, butā€¦
5:40 PM
ā€¦No, that's what it had to be. Yu wasn't upset about it; if that's how things had to play out for their relationship, then that's what he would accept for now. Still, the thought had stung a littleā€¦ But he chose this. He did what he had to for their well-being, and he wouldn't back down now. "Hikaru-chan's a little too young to ski, but I think everyone else would enjoy it." Changing it back to the subject of family, he'd made a light attempt to backtrack. That suggestion had probably been a little too romanticā€¦ It was best he didn't send too many mixed signals there. Granted, they were already on a date in everything but name, but Yu had been a little too oblivious to notice.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/21/2022 1:27 AM
Yosuke had turned red at the cusp of their hands, feeling the loss when Yu went to put his trench coat on. Yosuke quickly moved next to him, moving to intertwine their fingers, if Yu wanted to. He had a brighter smile on his face now. While Yu mused about their relationship, Yosuke was still feeling the ache of his earlier actions. The thought of his betrayal to his partner stuck to his ribs, hurting his guts and turning his stomach. He was being dramatic, he knew, but he was starting to feel light headed, the way he did when he spiraled. His eyes pricking wet, his head feeling like it was being crushed under an intense pressureā€¦ It was Yu's words that brought him back, making him suck in a breath and breathe, moving closer to his partner's warm body. He didn't miss the correctionā€“ Yu suggesting a family trip, thenā€¦ a private tripā€¦ and then going back to family. Yosuke winced a little. He deserved that, probably. "Yeah, I think everyone would love that. I haven't gone snowboarding in years." He laughs pleasantly, "Plus, there's nothing better than a warm cabin bed. I think I'll ask Dojima-San if I could schedule it." Because that's what he did best. He was best at bringing everyone together, making the plans, and doing the research. He has a natural at planning and advising. He'd be better if he kept his mouth shut. Finally, he sighs. Yu is rightā€¦ he needs help. "Yuā€¦ I made an appointment with a therapist." He looks at their feet, not up at Yu, "Someone at the Shadow Operatives. Dr. Sonomuraā€¦" Yosuke was endlessly nervous about it, butā€¦ but hopefully, he could have some support with his anxiety. Figure out a way to deal with it that's better than crying in the shower. (edited)
Avatar
Phea: full-time twink bullier 12/21/2022 3:16 AM
It was difficult not to notice the pained expression that Yosuke wore at the change of direction for his proposal. A trip with the two of them would have been very niceā€¦ They both really did want it, butā€¦ Things happened on trips like those, and just the two of them, alone in a romantic ski getawayā€¦ It sounded incredible, but Yu still had to stand his ground. Besides, a family trip would be really fun. Of course visiting Inaba and staying at the old Dojima residence had filled him with such warmth and nostalgia, but actually going out to spend time somewhere different and exciting would more than spruce up their family gathering. Besides, getting distance between Yosuke and Adachi-san right now was somewhat of a priority, considering the state his partner was inā€¦ ā€œTell him that they donā€™t have to worry about any costsā€”Iā€™ll cover it.ā€ Well, he would probably talk Adachi-san into paying part of it, but it wasnā€™t like they didnā€™t have the money to drop an impromptu vacation on everyone. One of the benefits of working under Mitsuru-san, especially when Yu hadnā€™t often been one to spend that money like wildfire. They had more than enough saved up to do practically anything they wanted, and Yu would have preferred to spend as much of that on family as he could. Being so caught up in his thoughts about the potential getaway, he had almost not noticed Yosukeā€™s sigh, the sound just barely knocking him out of his dream-like daze. What was he so upset aboutā€¦? Was he more annoyed about him rescinding the idea of a private trip than Yu had realizedā€¦? The man had been just about ready to apologize before Yosuke had spoken, only shutting his half agape mouth after the other started. Thatā€¦ Certainly wasnā€™t what he expected, but he couldnā€™t say that he was dismayed. Quite the oppositeā€”Yosuke was getting help? Really? ā€¦Maybe standing his ground wouldnā€™t have to last for long, if his partner had really been serious about all of this. ā€œIā€™m glad.ā€ That was an understatement; he was ecstatic that Yosuke had actually gone through with the idea, fingers tightening excitedly against his partnerā€™s as a small way to channel the sudden rush of emotions. ā€œ...I know you donā€™t want to do it, but itā€™s going to help a lot, okay?ā€ And itā€™s going to make me a lot happier. Yu didnā€™t have the confidence to say that, but it was almost implied, given how insistent Yu had been over the entire situation. This was all he wanted, truly. To see Yosuke truly happy again, instead of simply getting glimpses at the man he knew. Yu wanted to see his smile all the time, not just through feigned looks and brief moments of happiness before reality struck once again. ā€œYou know,ā€ his eyes fell onto his partner with an almost devilish smirk growing across his face, ā€œIf you work hard at it, maybe we could even share that warm cabin bed for more than cuddling.ā€ Okay, that was a little too bold for sober him, even by his standards, and especially considering the past boundaries he had set up. His face flushed, vision darting away to look at anything that wasnā€™t Yosuke. If he had taken in his partnerā€™s response, he might have just exploded on the spot from embarrassment. ā€¦Not that he was wrong. Besides, wasnā€™t it an incentiveā€¦? Yosuke needed that to stay motivated and make progress. Maybe it would even make him less anxious to see Sonomura-san if he had a goal in mind. Yeah, thatā€™s how he would justify that so he didnā€™t completely explode on the spot.
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/21/2022 2:06 PM
Yosuke looked up at Yu's words, his reassurances and the gentle squeeze of his hand. The look of joy on Yu's face was infectious, making Yosuke light up in a bright smile. He felt relieved that things were going well. Really, he did. And even if they didn't get together, Yosuke knew that the help was still good for him. He tended to spiral and hate himself. Maybe he could finally learn a different way of dealing with those thoughts? When Yu instead leaned into Yosuke's space, with a smirk, and said those oh so sultry linesā€¦ Yosuke turned so red that steam came off his face. "Y-You idiot!" He gave Yu a light shove, playful, "Y-Y-You can't just say that stuff! Not when we're o-outside!!!" He was so embarrassed he wanted to crawl into a hole. Yu was sober, damnit! Was it even a good idea to take him drinking!? "Ugh, come on dumbass, I'm hungry," despite acting the way he did, he still reached to take Yu's hand again, a little gesture that said "maybe" to the proposal. He had never thought of doing that with his best friendā€“ ok, that was a lie, but he really tried not toā€“ and now the thoughts were trickling in. Instead, he was trying desperately to think of what to order, and thankfully, the steakhouse came into view. Yosuke cleared his throat as he offered the door for Yu, "I can pay this time, if you get the drinks." Despite Yu being, well, loaded, this was Yosuke's nature. He would never allow himself to do everything on Yu's dime, despite their salary discrepancies. In Yosuke's mind, they were equals.
Avatar
Phea: full-time twink bullier 12/23/2022 1:15 AM
Despite how embarrassed he felt at his own words, Yosukeā€™s reaction had helped him push through it, having to cover up a light laugh as the man pushed him away and stumbled through his words. It was so easy to rile him up. Not that Yu usually did it on purpose, but it was still fun to see nonetheless. ā€œYou donā€™t have to worry. Thereā€™s no one around.ā€ Yongen-Jaya always had quieter streets than many other areas in Tokyo, so saying stuff like that never felt like a particular issue to himā€¦ Then again, he had said worse with lots of strangers around, so that part failed to bother him that much. They could look and judge as much as they wantedā€”but, if it upset Yosuke, he could bring it down a couple notches. Probably for the best that he didn't echo any similar ideas for both of their sakes. At least his partner hadn't been too upset, gladly taking his hand once again when it had been offered, as brief as the connection would be before they reached the restaurant. This sort of contact had been nice, small and soft, just as he tended to prefer compared to Yosukeā€™s sudden display of affections at home. Not that he didnā€™t enjoy feeling the other against him, but sometimes he didnā€™t want to be touched suddenly like thatā€¦ He wouldnā€™t say that, of course, biting his lip whenever he wasnā€™t in the mood and doing his best to smile through it, as it often worked to comfort Yosuke. As long as it made Yosuke happy, then he would be happy. That was one major difference. Yosuke didnā€™t do well with flirtatious advances, and Yu didnā€™t do well with physical advances. Not that they couldnā€™t come to an agreement, but they were both somewhat desperate to please one another, keeping their mouths mostly shut on what they didn't like. Yu was admittedly guilty of being desperate to meet the needs of many partners, putting his own preferences and needs to the side being almost second nature at this point. Actually standing his ground on something was more uncomfortable than just going along with things for his partner's sake, but if his partner wanted him to speak out about how he really felt, thenā€¦ ā€¦Now wasnā€™t the time to get so focused on it as they approached the steakhouse. There wouldnā€™t be any sudden displays of affection here from either sideā€”Yu had been keenly aware of how that typically went in establishments like this with a male partner. The door holding was probably just about as close as they would get to any signs of romance in there, Yu offering a polite thanks as he stepped through, although that quickly changed as Yosuke spoke, raising an eyebrow playfully. ā€œWerenā€™t you supposed to treat me tonight?ā€ Of course Yu didnā€™t mind paying for things, simply throwing out the question to tease the other. After all, paying for Yuā€™s drinks could get pricey rather quickly, considering the brands he preferred when he was out with partners and the amount he could gulp down, so he didnā€™t want to put that burden onto Yosuke. This was all about having a good night out. Crunching numbers shouldnā€™t have been an issue for either of them. ā€œIā€™ll make sure to get something good. Itā€™s been a while since weā€™ve gotten some top-shelf together.ā€ It didnā€™t take long for them to get seated in a booth near the back of the establishment. The place wasnā€™t often the busiest, and even as the holiday season ramped up, the chatter had been at a relatively low level from other customers. Speaking ofā€¦ A lot of the people here seemed to be couples. Sure, there had been a pair or two of businessmen fresh off of work and some families, but almost everyone else had been dressed up with their partner, girls and guys longingly staring into the eyes of their lovers as they sipped on glasses of wine and echoed sweet nothings. It wasnā€™t difficult to tell the vibe of the establishment, and if it had been obvious to him, it sure must have been clear to Yosuke, too.
1:15 AM
His gaze only met with Yosuke for a moment before his cheeks flushed, glancing away as the host had set down the menus and gone on his way to help the next customers. The booth across them had been an obvious couple, probably a couple years younger, holding hands over the table and smiling relentlessly. Even trying to look away, he couldnā€™t avoid the major thought on his mindā€¦ ā€œWhat are you thinking about getting?ā€ Their menus were barely opened before Yu asked the question, eyes still focused on the couple for a brief moment before he forced them onto his partner across from him. Awkward was probably an understatement for that whole interactionā€¦ Hopefully Yosuke wouldnā€™t pick up on it, at leastā€¦
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 12/23/2022 4:48 PM
Yosuke winced as Yu reminded him of his promise to pay for things. Shit, now he looked like an ass. Yu seemed to brush it off, thankfully, but Yosuke felt ashamed, and it was starting to bubble in his stomach. He mentally shakes his head, reminding himself to stay happy so that Yu didn't have to deal with his garbage. "Well, I can get the drinks, but we'll have to drink from the well." Yosuke had always been very good with money, never having less than a certain amount in his accounts, and only buying things after his bills and necessities were taken care of. He wasn't as well off working at the daycare, so his immediate thought was to split the bill. Thankfully, Yu responded by offering to get the top shelf, allowing Yosuke to relax. He could tell that Yu wasn't too offended that Yosuke forgot to treat him, and he was thankful. Sitting down, Yosuke thanked their host and looked around. It did seem to be mostly couples, giggling and giving each other romantic stares. Yosuke had been like that beforeā€“ his romantic gestures tended to be very physical, as it was his love languageā€¦ His thoughts led him to thinking of how physical he was with the group. Sitting close, touching knees, laying a hand on their shoulderā€¦ In Yu's case, he was very touchy feely. Huh. How did he not realize he had it down bad for his best friend earlierā€¦? He needed to lay off sometimes, though. He could tell Yu was uncomfortable, stiffening under his touch. But eventually he would relax, like when they last had a cuddle session, so maybe it was just reflex? Yosuke looked up at him, about to break the silence, only to see Yu blushing and eyeing a couple next to them. Yosuke looked over to see it was the same couple that was holding hands and whispering sweet nothings. Yosuke smirked, getting an idea. Yeah, he was easily embarrassed in public, but maybe he could pull this off. When Yu asked him what he was thinking of having, Yosuke lowered the menu and said, "I've been thinking of having you, of course." He almost stuttered, his own cheeks flushing from embarrassment. Ugh, that sucked, it was so cringey, but it was so left field it should do the job. Teasing his partner was one thing: teasing a potential boyfriend was extra fun. When Yu met his eyes, he just gave him a smile and his patented wink.
Avatar
Phea: full-time twink bullier 12/25/2022 12:23 PM
The last thing that Yu had expected was to hear anything near what was being said by the couples around them echoed by his partner, but if he knew anything, he should have learned to expect the unexpected and then some. Even if Yosuke had been embarrassed over it, its impact hadn't been lessened, Yu's face flushing cherry red in an instant. Having himā€¦ Likeā€¦? ā€¦Oh. Two can play that game. "We'll have to see if I'm on the menu tonight." He made sure to shoot a short smirk towards his partner, cheeks still burning while he feigned confidence. It hadn't mattered much, considering the wrecks they both were. Their waitress had barely given time for that comment to sink in before approaching to ask for their drink orders, and, with the look on her face, it was likely she had awkwardly heard their flirting. As per the usual, Yu didn't notice, simply asking for plain water and throwing in his order for some fancy sirloin and shiitake mushroom combination he had caught at a glance. Not that what he ordered mattered too much, thoughts already on the night's dessert. ā€¦Maybe he shouldn't have been thinking like that. Sure, Yosuke and him were flirting now, and his partner had started doing what he asked to get together, but that didn't mean they were moving straight into a relationship, right? Especially not one that immediately went there, despite Yosuke's implications. There had to be limits at some point on Yosuke's side, and Yu was terrified of overstepping his boundaries. Tonight seemed to be going wellā€¦ He really didn't want to ruin things with Yosuke againā€¦ ā€¦If he really wanted to know where those limits laid to avoid that, he may as well have just asked outright. After the waitress had left for the time being, his eyes returned to Yosuke, making sure to make direct eye contact with the other. If he hadn't, who knew how his partner would try to write it off if he had the desire to. ā€œIs this a date?ā€ There was know beating around the bush. The atmosphere had definitely changed from this being a 'friendly' outing, but what exactly it had turned into was completely up in the air. Was he just suggesting things to joke around, or did he really want to go thereā€¦? Yu wouldn't complain about the latter, but it was still up for debate if that was for the best right nowā€¦
Avatar
Kayla, male thot enemy of state 3/28/2023 10:41 PM
When the complimentary flirt was shot back at him, Yosuke may as well had an arrow shoot through his heart. His smile turned goofy, his ears red as he buried his face into the menu. He wasnā€™t like this with girls-- he was normally a little more smooth! But something about Yu made him feel like a shy schoolboy. Maybe it was because they so intimately knew each otherā€¦ Yosuke couldnā€™t help but remember their initial confession, how it sort ofā€¦ flopped. But Yu had responded well to Yosuke seeing a therapist-- perhaps there was hope for them after all? The idea of being with his best friend after all this time made his heart soar, and he couldnā€™t deny the warmth it made him feelā€¦ He smiled to himself, thinking that things were finally looking up a bit. He had the holiday to look forward to, and spending time with his partner in a special wayā€¦ Yosuke ordered a smaller sirloin with roasted vegetables and egg drop soup, passing his menu to the waitress and no longer having something to cover his blushing features. Rubbing his neck, he paused when Yu asked the question. Godā€¦ was it a date? Yosukeā€™s cheeks colored red again as he thought it over, sputtering. ā€œW-Wellā€¦ do youā€¦ want it to be? I mean, I wouldnā€™t beā€¦ against it.ā€ They had already confessed, but there was still that ultimatum on the table-- that Yosuke was struggling, and that Yu wanted him to be better. Yosuke breathed through his nose, becoming serious at the notion. His eyes watched the table as he spoke. ā€œI definitely feel like Iā€™m in an alright place, butā€¦ I know Iā€™mā€¦ kinda messed up still. I donā€™t want to drag you into that.ā€ He forced a smile. @Phea: full-time twink bullier
Avatar
Phea: full-time twink bullier 4/10/2023 7:29 PM
Did he want it to be a dateā€¦? While he loved Yosukeā€”that hadnā€™t been in question at any pointā€”the actual idea of dating him was a little more complicated than simply acting on those feelings alone. It may have been his dream to sweep Yosuke off his feet, to finally get to be public with everything between them and be lovers, but itā€¦ Wouldnā€™t have been morally correct, would it? ā€¦Well, that might have made it sound a little more dubious than it really was, but Yosuke was still in a pretty fragile position. Mentally, he had been in such a terrible place that it would have been easier to take advantage of him, to get him to agree to things he may have never wanted. Maybe that was what he was doing now. After all, Yosuke hadnā€™t exactly been interested in a public romantic relationship with him in the past decade, and now that everything was falling apart, only now did it seem he was finally acting on the hints that Yu had been dropping for so longā€¦ Then again, it wasnā€™t as if hints on Yosukeā€™s side hadnā€™t been obvious long before now, either. Ones that Yu hadnā€™t brought attention to, for Yosukeā€™s own comfort, but he was the reason they had ā€œno-homo, completely platonic, for practice onlyā€ cuddle and kissing sessions in the first place, and it was hard to ignore his wandering eyes, thinly flirtatious comments, and oddly touchy gestures in publicā€”Ones that he hadnā€™t understood at first, until one of his first girlfriends had gone through the signs of romantic interest with him. Safe to say, once he had finally figured out what the girl was talking about, heā€™d come to realize Yosuke had liked him for a long time, and he liked him back for just as long. Butā€¦ Did that matter much with the situation they were in? Love conquers all might have been a saying that worked in the past, but now he wasnā€™t sure how applicable it was.
7:29 PM
ā€¦As he watched Yosuke talk, though, face flushed and stumbling through his words nervously, Yu had practically thrown all of that worrying out the window. Who cared if this was the best decisionā€¦? After all this time, Yosuke was finally being open about his interest, and was doing what he asked him to in order to help himself, soā€¦ Maybe an exception to any moral code could be made. ā€œYou already dragged me into it.ā€ Too blunt. No matter how many years he tried to work on his social skills, things like that always seemed to slip throughā€¦ Not that he seemed to notice, a light, oblivious smile on his face as he focused his eyes onto the other man, reaching his hand out into Yosukeā€™s line of sight as a quiet offering for his partner to take if he wished, just like the couple he had his eyes on not long ago. Did he believe that Yosuke was in an alright placeā€¦? No, not really, butā€¦ If they were in a relationship, maybe that could make things better. Maybe it could at least save the slight awkwardness between them since Yuā€™s initial rejection. ā€œIf youā€™re going to seriously work at improving yourself, then we can work something out.ā€ Resting his hands on the table and leaning back, a faint smirk appeared on his face. ā€œEveryone thinks weā€™re already dating already, and Nanako keeps pushing me to ā€˜make a moveā€™ā€¦ā€
7:29 PM
By the time his teenage sister had started telling him that sort of stuff, maybe Yu should have taken the hint and started to push for more, butā€¦ It didnā€™t feel right at the time. Yosuke didnā€™t want to be open about his sexuality, and Yuā€¦ Well, there were several issues there that he hardly ever got into, save for a brief stint at therapy after his motherā€™s death. Romantic cues were difficult to pick up, even after being informed about what exactly he should have been looking for, often upsetting his romantic partners by not understanding what they wanted at any given time, and his desire for true commitment in any given relationship wasā€¦ Lacking, to say the least. While he wanted companionship and bonds, actually finding that in a single person hadnā€™t been very successful. Sure, those issues may have been much less of a worry with Yosuke, butā€¦ There were still countless fears that plagued his mind when it came to the idea of an actual, long-term relationship, even with his best friend. Even with someone he had practically been in an unofficial relationship for over a decade. If there was anyone he was willing to try for, though, it was Yosuke.
Exported 509 message(s)
Timezone: UTC-7